Is Walking a Right?

~I wrote this poem today.  I had driven two hours to see my prosthetic provider and was a little early.  As I sat in the car dreading the moment of walking in and going through the emotional trauma yet again this came pouring out of me onto the paper I managed to gather from around me.  It is a poem of pure emotion and really a prayer as well!

Is Walking a Right?

Again I make this lonely trip

The skies turn gray, the clouds they drip

The weather reflects the feelings inside me

As I secretly long to be set free

The worry and stress for this provision

Things my friends can’t even envision

The defiling touch in places of mine

I wish to scream “you’re out of line!”

Yet the only way for me to walk

Is to keep my head down and never balk

The pain, the bills, insurance fights

It seems forever I’m resigned to fright

I fight in my nightmares so hard to win

On the scale with rewards this comes up thin

Jesus you promised to end our struggles

So why do I stand like a clown who can’t juggle

Your word I will trust in, by choice I will choose

To be dragged by desperation I simply refuse

You give and you take; in YOUR good time

All I can do is trust you’ll give mine

In front of the office I wait patiently

Telling You how I feel so lonely

Not due to the fact of no company

But the burden that’s mine no one can see

All this to feel two feet underneath

While half the time in pain I seethe

The pain is not easy and doesn’t cease

But still I continue to fill my one need

To walk with the Lord and thank Him for much

Though I really wish it was without fuss

The burden I give Jesus; but I don’t wish it on Him

I hand it over sadly; He paid the price for this sin

Consequences of the fallen here shown in me

I’m waiting because he came to set free

Another appointment…the time is now

Yes I’ll get through it, some way, somehow