Crutchprints in the Sand

Warriors Running to Victory – David and Goliath

Warriors Running to Victory – David and Goliath

by Ashly. P. Ash

Excerpt from Graham Cooke: Qualities of a Warrior (Interactive Journal) p91

“Spiritual warriors give courage to people. They are refreshing to be around. They have that sense of being indomitable, impossible to subdue. Soldiers line up behind warriors because they know there is an excellent chance of victory. Warriors make things happen. Good people add something to us by who they are and how they live. Other people are negative and take things away; still others have a contrary spirit and become divisive. Warriors multiply. They give more than is required. Measure has no meaning for them. Abundance is their language and way of life. When you meet real warriors they overwhelm you with possibilities and refresh you with their certainties.

They are unafraid and it shows. They attract faith and power. It’s in their mindset, their attitude, their bearing. They wear it like armor. They contribute these things to the atmosphere around them. They create a better environment because they are massively in league with the Creator. They help to shape the way we position ourselves to fight in the situation we are facing. Such warriors hear the Lord laughing at the enemy. It echoes in their own hearts. They feed off the sound of victory.”

Background: In 1 Sam 16 David was anointed by Samuel to be king of Israel. David was the least likely candidate, a young shepherd that when Samuel told David’s father to bring and present his sons so the Lord could reveal who would be the next King his own father forgot to call for him. Yet when presented, Samuel anointed David and we open chapter 17 bearing in mind that David had received a promise. He had received from the Lord a future, a hope, a purpose, but most of all a promise.

Read 1 Sam 17: 1-16

Whenever we receive a promise, there is always going to be a trial! We must have a servant heart which prepares us for greatness in the Lord Jesus!

Can you think of a time when you felt you received a promise or a hope in regards to something and immediately faced a trial afterward? How did you respond? Did you realize right away it was a “test” or did it take time for that to become known?

Notice the scripture tells us that for 40 days Goliath challenged the army of Israel. When we are confronted by something and we do not respond the way God wants us to immediately the problem can become much bigger than it really is in our minds! It seems that fear has taken hold of many of the men here.

Has there been a time when you felt lead to do or say something and the longer you thought about it, the more time that passed, you couldn’t find the “get up and go” for it? Did you ever go back and do what you were lead to do? How did that feel when you realized that the thing you were dreading went just fine?

David received his promise, now we enter the situation

Read 1 Sam 17: 17-31

David was being prepared with a servant heart for greatness! But most of the chapter isn’t the actual battle which David fought with Goliath…most of the chapter here is about the preparation of the battle!

David had to defeat his circumstances. What were some of the circumstances David had “stacked against his odds?”

David had to defeat several accusations and discouragement.

Do you think it is possible David’s brother Eliab was jealous because of the anointing to be King David had just received?

Several of the soldiers told David all that King Saul had promised to the man that would take on and kill Goliath, if it was such a good deal why didn’t they step up to the plate?

How did Saul discourage David from being the one to kill Goliath?

What was David’s response to all of these?

When we are faced with accusations and/or discouragement we need to follow David’s example and remember the good that our God has done for us!

How do you celebrate what God has done in your life?

David had to receive Anointing and Authority for what God wanted him to do.

When God anoints us for something that anointing is contagious! Saul had no reason to allow a risk such as a young shepherd boy with no experience to fight and represent the entire army of Israel! Yet when confronted by David, hearing David’s testimony of how God had delivered him before, he allowed him to go!

Reminds us of Esther 4:44 when Mordacai told Esther: “For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father’s family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this??

What are your thoughts about this?

David received authority from the necessary earthly vessel as well to confront the giant. Submitting to our Pastor’s, parents, spouse’s can be an important piece to confronting a Giant in our own life successfully!

What are your thoughts?

David had to prepare for battle!

Is there a hidden treasure that lays in the verse that explains that David was not comfortable in his own armor? What lessons can we glean from this in regards to our own life?

God can use what appears to be weak to conquer what appears to be strong! (1 Cor 1:25)

David took 5 stones and needed one, perhaps he knew Goliath had brothers? Either way if he truly believed God’s promise for him to become king he had to have the faith necessary to know that God would not be defeated through Goliath that day!

Was there ever a time when you were challenged by something, someone, a struggle you were coming against, or any other type of Giant and held steadfast to the promise that God had given you?

Time for BATTLE! 1 Sam 17:32-54

What are some of the qualities you notice about Goliath as he approaches the fight?

Goliath was insulted by the fact that David was young, inexperienced, and unarmed in the conventional way. Are there times when we too are looking at things on the surface and not to the “Lion standing behind the mouse”?

David recognized that Goliath wasn’t insulting the army of Israel but rather God himself. This is when David responds and quotes Dt 28:25-26. Then David RAN to the battle Line! He responded immediately! Describe how you felt and/or the situation of a time when God lead you to do something and you responded immediately…

Look at Life:

We know whenever we are going through a struggle that God is doing something on the other side. The question is: What are you doing God, now, in this struggle that you couldn’t do or teach me at any other time? What promise lays here for me?

Do I have a servant heart? How has God been preparing me for greatness lately?

When accusations/discouragement comes at me how do I respond? Do I respond as David did in recounting the good God has done in my life?

How does the armor spoken and taught to us in the New Testament help us face giants today?

A Smile Instead of a Stare

By Ashly P. Ash

Punta Cana, DR after a relaxing day in the pool with my husband

Showing up with one leg missing and using crutches stands out when in public and in any gathering of people. I would say that I “stick out like a sore thumb” but the reality is people do not even really see a sore thumb!

Over and over I am forced to deal with the stares that being different generates. Some stares are simply out of curiosity and when a person catches him/herself staring they meet my eyes and quickly look away or down. Other times I am stared at in a very degrading manner and with open-mouthed gaping I continue to be watched long after I try to make eye contact. It is something that I can honestly say does not ever really become normal, and I do not ever get used to this. To this day, twenty four years after losing my leg, I still have to stop and ask myself why I am being stared at. I don’t feel any different than anyone else so I have a hard time figuring out those first moments why I am being stared at.

My family, friends, and even husband get very defensive and angry for me. They see me as the human being that I am and they understand that being stared at is very degrading, rude, and belittling for someone who has already been forced to endure so much in life. A lot of times I felt it was disrespectful that someone who had fought so hard to live life and enjoy life should be treated without consideration. Dealing with this has been something that I have grieved in a healthy way for many years and still strikes me on bad days at a different point in the grieving process. (For more about grieving being a chronic and continual process see my other post: https://crutchprints.com/2013/10/21/where-there-is-a-will-there-is-a-way-a-story-behind-the-story/)

To deal with staring I have tried many stances over the years. As you will see all of these required an act of repentance on my part! I had tried staring back in a mean way. I tried to lower my head so the person would see my eyes and bring their eyes up to my face. A few times I was angry enough to point out that the person is being rude loudly. I had pointed back, and honestly even asked a few people why they were staring at me when they were the ugly ones! My friends in the past stared back for me, asked people what they were looking at, even threatened to become violent. I used to say “Boooo!” to a few, ignored handfuls, but still none of these seemed appropriate or seemed to reflect who I am on the inside or in Jesus.

“How can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.?” Luke 6:42

As all life-changing journeys, this one began on the inside. I had to deal with the lies that I had believed in regards to my situation. The lie that I was somehow “less than” others or that their stares meant there was something wrong with ME. Another lie I found myself believing was that I was unattractive or deficient because of my missing limb. Yet another stated I would never relate to “normal” people or be who God created me to be because no one could see the real me as a person. Learning who I was through Christ was a big part of this process and even continues on inside of me today. But recognizing these lies of shameful thinking allowed me to resolve my anger and bitterness so that I could leave these at the foot of the Cross in forgiveness and move on.

By the time I met my husband I had found the best way to deal with people who stare was to smile and say “Hello!” This sounds so simple and even counterproductive! On the outside it seems that the people staring at me shouldn’t deserve my smile. They certainly don’t seem to deserve my friendliness based on the way they are making me feel like mere cattle, like an object, and even dirty! Yet, in my experience I have found that when I encounter someone who is blatantly staring at me and in shock they have not even processed that I am a human being standing/walking before them. So in the simple gesture of tilting my head they see movement in their line of vision and their eyes are drawn to my face where I can smile at them. When I smile, something in their thinking process registers or “clicks” visibly on their faces and they no longer see a freak but a person that has had some sort of obvious struggle. It is at this point that I get a return smile almost every time.

We have all heard it said that a smile is a friend in any language. And many times I feel my very being is a different language from the people around me. But a smile gives us all common ground and a way to connect with one another. It contains a sense of reassurance and possibly even healing! I like to believe that by looking into my eyes and seeing my smile whatever shock a person is dealing with when wondering “Oh my, look at THAT…what would I do?!” that they receive reassurance that anything is possible with God.

“Jesus looked at them and said, ‘With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.’” Matthew 19:26

We are all sinners undeserving yet receiving the mercy and the grace of God. Cancer created such a battle to fight for a four year old little girl to have to face. An ongoing battle at that and one that many times I respond to in sin! I do not deserve, yet Jesus smiles at me! When I am walking along and staring at messes in life and focused on all the wrong things I know He tilts His head and meets my eyes so that I look to HIM and receive the healing in His smile.

“Like the rest, we were by nature deserving of wrath. ⁴But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, ⁵made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved.” (Ephesians 2:3-5)

My husband and I have had many discussions about this and what appropriate responses would be in these situations and we always come back to the truth. The truth is love. It is that simple. I am called to be a blessing by smiling at others and showing them that where impossibility lies, love prevails. It is through my smile that I intend to infect as many people as humanly possible…because it is the smile in an undeserved situation that demonstrates the true love of Jesus. It is the smile of Jesus that changed me.

You know you are an amputee when…Part II

by Ashly P. Ash

Amputee Humor...My famous halloween costume of the "Leg Lamp" from Christmas Story — Amputee Humor…My famous halloween costume of the “Leg Lamp” from Christmas Story

…You are not all right and you are more than half left

…The signature party costume you wear is the Leg Lamp from Christmas Story

…You feel you already have a leg up on new projects

…There has been some sort of pranking in regards to taking your leg off and beating someone or something with it

…Everyone agrees you always put your best foot forward

…You tend to take things one step at a time

…You find it funny to kick the crutches out from any of the temporary users

…People say “keep your feet on the ground” you know it doesn’t really apply to you anyway

…You find yourself when reading “Footprints in the sand” screaming in your mind FOOTPRINT, IT IS FOOTPRINT!

…You can properly demonstrate the meaning of costing an “arm and or a leg”

Mystery of His Love

This poem was written as I sat in the house of Fern and Audrey at Discovering MErcy. My emotions were free, I felt I could be me. And I wondered in the silence and depth of the place about God and how dreams originated from Him.

Mystery of His Love – Ashly P Ash

The way the world fits together

Fall into place, things would never

A design and artist in His chair

Dreaming up the world from his lair

Pencil and pad as he sketched the sky

Pictures on walls of you and I

He loved me then; He loves me now

The mystery to me is how

Was creation simply a rough draft

And our purpose to shape and craft

What were You thinking as You dreamed?

When you thought of me, did You beam?

Did you cry knowing the pain I’d cause

Realizing the sacrifice needed in pause

He loved me then; He loves me now

The mystery to me is how

The river rushing from your throne

To reach all men and bring them home

Was this in your master plan?

Or were your force to arrange your hand

How do you see me in your sketches?

Am I free of all life’s messes?

He loved me then; He loves me now

The mystery to me is how

The only place I’ve felt so safe

Was so fully quiet and empty space

Where the sky was pushed back overhead

And I thought of excuses to stay there instead

Communion came free; I knew you knew me

For once creativity flowed forth to see

He loved me then; He loves me now

The mystery to me is how

A minute is a day and a day is a minute

Any time spent with you is infinite

The clarity and voice that speaks here

Helps me see myself quite clear

When you dreamed up what I see in the world

I imagine in your smile your lips slightly curled

He loved me then; He loves me now

The mystery to me is how

A Song to the Father of Light

by Ashly P Ash

Every color originates in you

And this is why you’re represented in blue

The purity from times of old

Shine forth in the color of gold

Royalty, robes, crowns on High

Purple is the color nigh

But your eyes, what color are they?

What color does your glory weigh?

Everything we touch and all that we see

Cries out from its place with so much need

For us to hear the cries of our land

For us in blessing to stretch out our hand

All is ours, we are stewards of much

But really how do we care for such?

But your eyes, what color are they?

What color does your glory weigh?

The sun shines bright and fills the land

Yellow reminds of your Son’s hands

The autumn reds and berries we pick

To remind us that your sacrifice was thick

The fields of corn and soy and hay

Green shades of blessings to fill our bays

But your eyes, what color are they?

What color does your glory weigh?

Snow which falls without asking

In white redemption we lay basking

Remove from the land every bad root

While we kick the orange dust with our boots

Enveloped in night, engulfed in its chill

Of our plight in black sin we’ve had our fill

But your eyes, what color are they?

What color does your glory weigh?

We worship you here in this place

The glory of your presence; we seek your face

Shine on us oh Father of Lights

Guide us with your fire by night

We seek to be your place for resting

Forever we choose to stay here nesting

But your eyes, what color are they?

What color does your glory weigh?

Stages of Grief in Inner Healing

Grieving is a critical part of inner healing. Whenever we have a loss of any kind we must take time to grieve through that loss rather than circumvent it. Most therapists agree on grief being a five step process.

I recommend recognizing this process not only in death but in life changes, healing from codependency, and moving forward from traumatic experiences. Please understand I am not a therapist or counselor of any kind. As in my other “relational” articles I am merely providing information and tools collected during my life and sharing them with others.

A lot of times we think there should be a time frame on grief but the truth is grieving is a continual process. In the extreme case of something traumatic like amputation in my life it is healthy to recognize that grieving will be a lifelong process. Every time I may attempt to do something that creates a feeling of loss inside of me because of difficulty, hardship, or any other hangup due to amputation I may have to head down this path of grieving. It may take an hour, a day, a week, or years but every small thing in life is important to grieve.

Grieving also is not the same thing as mourning. Grieving is not a black veil that affects every portion of our life and being. It is simply stopping for a moment and recognizing a feeling of loss inside of us and allowing that feeling to run its course in the capacity that we are able.

We will go through these emotions (not in any particular order):

Denial – Trying to go on with life as is the loss did not occur. This can come in many forms such as keeping busy, ignoring, refusing to talk about it, living in the past, etc.

Bargaining – Trying to figure out a way to control the situation or loss, finding a way to bring back what was loss, make excuses for the people who mistreated us causing a loss of need in us, etc.

Anger – Feeling anger for the loss, feeling anger because of being mistreated or abandoned, feeling angry because of loss of control in the situation or at God.

Depression – The fullness of the loss has caught up and feelings of sadness, loneliness, fatigue, and hopelessness can catch up. Feeling the reality of having no control and not having our needs met. Realizing what the needs are inside of us and that people cannot typically meet them.

Acceptance – We move on into this phase to make peace with our loss. This can come slowly but we begin to move forward with life. For Christians we begin to plug our needs into God and allow Him to be in control of our needs accepting that others will never be able to completely meet our expectations

Where There is a Will There is a Way – A Story Behind the Story

Many people look at my life and assume since I have survived cancer and survived amputation that life continues on as normal for me. I often am asked “and now you are ok?” with a swift nod of affirmation before I can even answer. Many people do not understand or even realize that life as a cancer surviving amputee creates a chronic condition that affects every part of ones being and life. Being able to daily bounce back from the trauma which started twenty four years ago is a key part of living a happy life.

Of course “where there is a will there is a way” in life but what we are often missing when we try to apply this saying is the fact that there is always what I like to call “a story behind the story.”

A pin given to me by my Godmother to remind me of the perseverance of honeybees

The story may be that I changed the sheets on the bed today. I had a will and I found a way. The story behind the story is what it took for me to complete such a simple task. For me it involves putting my crutches down and scooting on my bottom around the bed pulling the sheets off of all corners. I then put on my prosthetic leg and shoes to carry the laundry to the basement. Washing, drying, and using a special bag to carry the sheets back upstairs. Now they are upstairs I must take my leg back off (due to the small space of my bedroom) and scoot around the bed a few more times on my bottom to put them back on. All of this is my “will” behind my “way”.

“Then you will go on your way in safety, and your foot will not stumble.” Proverbs 3:23 (this verse has always had special meaning to me)

Back in January I had an all around and very thorough blood work check. Being a blood transfusion recipient in the 80’s a new doctor felt it necessary to do a very thorough follow-up check. Through the process of 22 tubes of blood and then a few more tests I was given the news that I have Type II Diabetes. It was explained to me that a lot of the medications including chemotherapy when I was four years old had weakened my pancreas over the years and caused it to work much harder to create insulin. I was advised to not attempt to have children and that even when the diabetes became under control it probably would not be recommended based on my existing condition and the typical worsening of sugar during pregnancy. My dream as a wife has been to have a child. My dream has always been to pour the wisdom of the years that I have struggled through into a child of my own. Somehow I really felt it would “all be worth the struggle” if I just had someone to pass it all on to. I was crushed.

As a cherry on top for me within two weeks of hearing this I went to the dentist where he showed me an X-ray of my mouth and explained that the chemotherapy had stunted my tooth growth as a child and my teeth are very short with short roots and that while they are stable it is very important for me to maintain them with regular checkups and keep an eye for looseness.

Nearly right away I felt so devastated and depressed. I wanted a way to live life and enjoy life and have tried from the first day of having cancer to do so. I have had such a hard time doing simple tasks throughout my life and now I was being told that even one of the few carefree things in my life (food) was to be taken away from me and the effects of having cancer 24 years ago was still alive? “I am only 28 years old,” I thought, “what will happen to me by the time I am 50?” Exasperated, depressed, upset, I spent nearly a full day in tears and grieving for my loss. I grieved when I made lunch and was forced to sit on the kitchen floor and eat it because I couldn’t carry my plate to the table in the other room. I grieved when I got up to make supper without my leg (I think it was broken at this time) and grieved over not being able to do this easily and not being able to carry a nice display for my husband to the table. Later when I went outside to plan my gardens I grieved and cried because I knew the only way for me to garden would be by crawling around on my bottom to pull the weeds. And that night after my shower I stood in the mirror and cried some more grieving the way my loss has affected my marriage and dream to have a family.

It came down to the fact that I had a “way” to do all of these things and a “way” to cook, clean, and garden. Over the years I have devised a million different ways to do simple tasks. They may not be easier and they surely aren’t faster, but they are indeed an alternative way. What I lacked was the “will” to perform at this point.

“and provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.” Isaiah 61:3

After grieving for a full day I decided it was time to get my “will” back. I realized that I had previously been praying asking God to show me how I could be healthier and live longer. Doctors advised I take a nutrition class and see a nutritionist to start. My husband and I attended this class together and learned how to eat, how much to eat, how often to eat, how a person with a disability can exercise in a healthy way, and how to take care of my body and blood sugar. I realized at this class that this was an answer to prayer for me. This was a testimony that God cares about me enough to allow the doctors to bring this to my attention so that I could be healthy and live longer. If it was not meant for me to have a child naturally then it simply meant God had a reason for this and a child out there that needed a home and a mother like me.

During the three months between my diagnosis of diabetes and follow-up appointment I realized that my dreams needed to be laid down. God was in charge of the process and if He promised it, it would come to pass. It would come to pass in His way and He would bring healing to old hurts and traumas (even from 24 years ago!) along the way. I realized that I had so many emotions that I have shut down for the past 24 years and He was allowing them to spring forth and be grieved in an appropriate and healthy way so that they would no longer hinder me from a happy life.

“Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?” Romans 8:35

Within three months when I returned for a checkup the doctors were astounded. Diet and a low dose of medicine had allowed me to completely turn around the diabetes to the point where my sugar wasn’t simply acceptable but it was better than the average healthy person. I had lost nearly 40 pounds and was in shape and feeling better physically than I had for years. My Doctor even smiled at me and told me that she was completely wrong about warning me not to have children and based on what she could see she felt wholeheartedly there was no reason for me to pick up my dream again.

You see, so many times we believe that we can simply repeat through our heads “where there is a will there is a way, where there is a will there is a way” and everything else will fade into the background. But that is not reality. In fact, it is an escape mechanism. God gave us feelings and he gave us a grieving process for a reason. We are not meant to circumvent our problems or obstacle but go through them. “As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death…you are with me”(Ps 23) is a promise for us.

“Very truly I tell you, you will weep and mourn while the world rejoices. You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy.” John 16:20

We WILL walk through these things. Whether we walk through them in a healthy way or an unhealthy way is up to us. Whether we beat ourselves through them militarily or we allow ourselves to grieve and then stand up in courage and fight through is completely our choice. We will grieve losses whether they are large losses, losses from a long time ago, small losses, or simple changes in our routines and friendships. But to choose to go through our losses with God and finding out while we walk through God is overseeing the process is the real “story behind the story”.

So far we do not yet have a child, nor do we see evidence of this happening right now. But I do know that God has a plan and as I walk through this valley He is in charge. He is my “story behind the story” and the “will to His way”.

“No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.” Romans 8:37

Disabling the Disabled?

I used to travel a bit with the Amputee Coalition of America to various conferences nationwide. The amputee kids of all ages and disabilities would get together on these trips and bunk out in hotel rooms assigned and organized by the ACA committee. Activities would be planned for the entire three or four day event aside from the conference meetings and it was really a growing and interacting time for kids to be with others “like them”. I participated in this from within months of my amputation at the age of four all the way through an adult of nineteen.

There is really no way to describe the humor and interaction between amputees. Most of us I have found seem to have a drier sense of humor which is only encouraged and multiplied when in groups of seemingly “like kind”. I have seen everything and I’m sure many of my stories will come from these hilarious trips. Several times I’ve seen kids fall down randomly in front of a parked car and scream “MY LEG!” to create a scene. Once a man in a buffet line on crutches with one leg with a full plate was approached by a fellow amputee stating “You are pretty good on those things, let’s see how you do without them” and with a swift kick they were gone leaving the man to only laugh and balance his tray as he hopped along. I have even seen kids attempting to recreate wild WWF (World Wrestling Something) scenes resulting in actual prosthetic limbs going through the walls of hotel rooms and creating huge bills.

As a part of being one of the older participants in the program I would be assigned caretaker for three girls who would bunk in my hotel room and for whom I would be responsible for being sure they turned up on time, appropriately dressed, and well-rested for events starting with a daily 7:30 AM breakfast. Anyone with children knows telling kids at a sleepover to “get some rest and go to bed” is borderline psychotic and never actually happens anyway. Yet I still always managed to end up with the three most rambunctious girls in the entire hotel and still get them to all events (sleepy under eye baggage and all).

One particular evening I received a call from hotel management informing me that my girls were going down the hallways knocking on random doors and running away. I’m sure it was the awkward hop-skip that amputees do when running that gave them away to the security cameras. Still, I was responsible for them even if I was in the shower when this happened. I sat my girls down for a talk and with silent nods we seemed to reach an agreement.

The next evening as I came out of the shower someone was at the door. I opened it to find the leader of the committee with three girls in tow and a very unhappy scowl. She informed me abruptly that she had found the girls in the elevator pushing all the buttons and enjoying the free ride as a hundred amputees at the conference downstairs were forced to wait or take the stairs.

I thought about it for awhile and finally came up with a plan. How could I further disable my disabled children? The only way I could further disable already disabled children would be to pull their legs. Quite literally, I mean I decided I was going to have to pull their legs.

The next evening prior to my shower I called each of them into the bathroom and told them to take off their legs. They shrieked in horror as if I was forcing a limb loss or something! One of my girls even threatened to tell her mother I made her take her leg off, to which of course I laughed and continued taking my own off. So, they took off their legs and I locked them in the bathroom with me for my shower fully satisfied with the obvious brilliance of my ability to cripple children.

Over the next year or two I became known as the leg-collecting chaperone. Did it work? Well, if you think it worked apparently you do not know the determination of amputee children. Those critters still managed to get out of the room and be ornery knocking on doors! The good news is, they never got very far hopping along and raising cane in ten minutes. I would finish up, open the door and yell at them, and then as each girl came hopping back into the room I would re-issue limbs hiding my smile.

The fact is, the determination and humor they had is what got them through their daily life. Amputee children face more in a day then a normal person will face in a year. The determination they have and attitudes of diligence are something that I admire and have continual respect for. Their ability to fight through anything is what has kept them not only alive, but able to thrive. It makes me smile, as I hope this story has made you smile. After all, I was one of them!

Lost Earring, Faith Found

Lost Earrings, Faith Found

Ashly P. Ash

Faith is something that we hear a lot about in our lives. “Have faith” that you will end up with provision and that everything will work out the way it is supposed to. “Let go and let God” is another term we throw around so easily to encourage one another to keep faith.

Sometimes I wonder how many of us really believe in the things that we are heading towards. Are we living in expectation? Are we preparing the way for the promises that we know are in our future?

⁷“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. ⁸For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.⁹“Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? ¹⁰Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? ¹¹If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! ¹²So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.” Matthew 7:7-12

My jewelry collection is very dear to my heart. Each piece of jewelry I own has been purchased as a gift for me or holds sentimental value to me. Some of my pieces are collected from places I have traveled like a piece of shipwreck jewelry and a Colorado pinecone dipped in silver. Other pieces are very dear to my heart like the very first necklace my husband bought me in Williamsburg, VA when we were still dating. A lot of the pieces I have are one of five matching pieces that my parents bought and distributed among my four sisters and mother. Matching jewelry seems to be a theme in my family. One piece I have as a gift from my mother and father from Italy. It is a heart shaped murano glass necklace and it had matching earrings. In the tragic event of a fire in our apartment I lost one of the earrings and whenever I have attempted to discard the other one (deeming it as pointless) I have felt a tug in my heart to hold on to it.

As many of you know my husband and I dream for the day when we will have a child. We feel very certain based on the desire in our heart and confirmation from the Lord in various forms that this is His plan for us. We may not yet know the specifics of this but we do know that in His timing this dream will become a reality. Still, the waiting is the hardest part because waiting fulfillment of a promise is when arrows of doubt are constantly being shot at our minds and attitudes. I think I know more than anyone that in these situations your entire being aches from thinking and dreaming on something so that the phrase “Let go and let God” isn’t an easy feat.

A few weeks ago I came across that lone earring again in my jewelry collection. I sought out a lady that does jewelry repair and creative jewelry work and I felt that I should take it to her. Though I wasn’t too sure why I was supposed to do this I got together some other jewelry in need of a repair and headed over. As I went I felt so strongly that I shouldn’t just dream and speak with my mouth that I believe God will give me a child but that I should be living in expectation. So I took the earring in and asked her to turn it into a necklace to be a smaller matching pendant like my own. I felt that when I have a child, if it is a girl, she will get this necklace and it will match her mother’s (mine) as the tradition in my family calls for.

Shortly before this I was browsing in a clothing store one day when I felt I should choose to walk in faith by buying a few infant outfits in preparation of the future. Even then as I stood there trying to decide if it was wise to spend money on something I could not see materializing at that point I knew in my heart it wasn’t about the money or even the dream, but about trusting God and living like it.

What do you trust God for? What do you believe for? What steps can you take to walk out your faith today? You may not see your dream materialize today, tomorrow, or even a year from now but live like you do. Find the things that are dear to your heart and use them to contribute and prepare for your dreams. Dig out your lost-cause earrings or set aside some closet space to prepare for a baby! Some may think this is radical behavior and I agree wholeheartedly it is radical faith! Faith that is a gift from within and a way to allow us to lean on and rely on Jesus because we have something invested beyond simple words. Actions speak louder than words, let’s act!

Abram set out when God called him out of his hometown and did not even know where he was going, but he still went. The people of Israel wandering through the desert followed the cloud by day and fire by night not having a clue if they were headed in the right direction. Noah built an ark despite ridicule and laughter not even knowing if he would need it!

Hebrews 11 states many great men and women of faith! Read and reflect on this chapter and realize that many of these men and women never lived to see the final affect of their walk of faith! Abraham never lived to see his descendants as numerous as the stars yet day by day he walked and lived as if it would really happen and as a result the promise was fulfilled benefiting each and every one of us today.

Even when we know and see the light at the end of the tunnel, what is the point of reaching our destination if we have not enjoyed the journey along the way? Take time to walk by faith, act in faith, live as if your promises will be fulfilled by God tomorrow. When God gave Abram a promise he called him out of his tent and told him to look up. So while we are waiting for our promises to be fulfilled let us not forget to step out of ourselves, look up to the God of all creation, and enjoy every moment of the journey.

You know you are an amputee when…

Being an amputee I feel that humor is such an important part of life! None of these things are to “make fun” of or insult other amputee/handicap people but rather are things that at one point or another I have come across in my own experience and thoughts. Enjoy a smile today!

I met a friend, a goat that is also missing something!

You know you are an amputee when…

…You don’t understand “the dryer ate my socks” phrase because you never have to match your socks!

…Every pair of socks you own gets double use by simply switching the socks onto the other foot!

…When snorkeling you realize you have 50% less chance of being bitten by a shark

…You are always celebrated when entering an IHOP

…The song “Lean on Me” is very personal

…Literally, you have one foot in the future or one foot in the grave depending on the day

…Shoe salesmen hate you

…Your friends know the parody Johnny Cash song “I Hop the Line”

…No one else you know can literally break a leg and keep on going!

…You have two feet in two different states every time you leave your leg at the doctor’s