Crutchprints in the Sand

Fire Restoration

This week is Holy Week and I wanted to reflect on our God, how big He is and how He orchestrated the greatest rescue by sending His son to save us!

Fire Restoration

A year after we were married we were living in the small one bedroom apartment I rented as a single woman. We were saving and preparing to purchase our first home. My husband was working second shift which would keep us rotating around the clock. One evening he came home after midnight and we finally got settled around 3 AM for bed. At 6 AM I awoke to a strange beeping noise and my dog whining. The room was filled with smoke and I couldn’t see more than six inches in front of me. I screamed and woke my husband who previously had been a firefighter. He instructed me to get low to the ground and get out of the house. Suddenly I realized that with crutches and one leg there really isn’t a way to crawl so I closed my eyes and made my way downstairs and outside the best way I could.

Once outside we called 911, the property owner (my father), and it was then that I realized my prosthetic leg was still inside the house. Prosthetic legs can cost anywhere from $50,000-$100,000 and insurance only covered mine at that point every few years. I panicked and begged my husband to maneuver through the door and get it out, which he did. The whole time was very scary for both my family that owned the house and for us. The electrical fire started on the side of the house we weren’t renting (which was vacated two weeks prior) and was on the other side of our bedroom wall.

After the fire company left we walked through the house to see what the damage looked like. Most of the damage on our side was from black smoke. As we walked through the damage and saw what had been happening within 20 feet of our bed as we slept we were astounded. The damage was horrifying. We walked up the stairs to see that the firefighters, unable to see, had to axe through different walls and rooms to find their way and be sure everyone was safe. On the other side of the wall where we slept they had axed through our bedroom wall and the piece that fell was a perfect cross. Up until this point I hadn’t realized how close we had been to losing our lives. When I saw the cross my eyes filled with tears as I realized that Jesus conquered the grave not only two thousand years ago, not only when I had cancer, not only when I was delivered from drugs, but right up to that moment in my life. God is so much bigger than I could ever have imagined.

The other side of our bedroom wall. The black smoke was coming through and within ten minutes we would have died in our sleep

The Fire Marshall explained to us that within another ten minutes of sleeping if we had not got up we would have died in our sleep without even knowing what was going on.

Thinking back I realized another thing that God caused to happen. When I had chemotherapy as a young child I lost my ability to hear high pitch frequencies such as birds and fire alarms. I can’t even tell you the number of times in my career that I would be oblivious and wondering why everyone was scrambling for their purses and coats only to be told there was a fire drill. For some reason that morning I heard the alarm beeping and the dog whining which alerted me to know what was happening around us.

God’s hand was in this. The other half of the house was vacated so no one was present, I was miraculously stirred and my ears opened, almost all of the damage we had was smoke damage, no one was hurt. We were displaced for a very trying and difficult month but even through this month God has His hand on us. The offer we made on a small house was approved. Paperwork breezed by and at the end of the month we stepped over the threshold of our very own home. The fire restoration company delivered all of our treated belongings to the new home and we didn’t even have to box or move anything! God came down in the midst of a tragedy and worked things together in a way that we were able to handle what was set before us and enlarge our “tent” in a spiritual and physical sense.

When Jesus died on the cross He paid the price for so much more than we realize. Each of these moments were gifts from heaven. We take for granted that we are saved, but when we really stop to think and count the little things that because of His sacrifice God blesses us with each and every day we can become overwhelmed quickly. Because of the sacrifice Jesus made for us we don’t simply have acceptance with God, we have the favor of God.

After the fire my mindset shifted about life. I do not have control over it at all. Only God can determine the length of my life and only I can determine to hand over the reins to Him. Since that day it has been confirmed to me on a new level that God has a plan for my life and that the work I am here to accomplish is far from complete. While I am just beginning to realize the beginning of this purpose I no longer stress or worry about it because now I KNOW beyond a shadow of doubt that He is in control.

This little guy was hatching and also made it out of the fire alive

A little while ago I dreamt I was in worship and there was this beautiful song from heaven that we were singing. When I woke up I remembered the words of the upbeat chorus:

“Every day I live – I will worship

Every day I breathe – I’ll find time to break

Every day that’s new – I will give to you

For NOTHING is too big,

NOTHING is too big,

For MY GOD!”

Realizing that because of Jesus God chooses not just to protect us, guide us, work all things together for good but to also lavishly give us abundant life because we choose to accept and walk with Him. When others speak of “winks from God” in their daily life I now smile to myself and feel the warmth of knowing how God rescued me from so many things and cares even right down to the tiniest detail.

The day after the fire. Thankful for our lives.

For every little blessing that God gives to me, every tragedy He turns out to work for the best, every miraculous moment that I experience I will praise Him for! For nothing is too big for My God!

Drowning Out the Noise with Stillness

Drowning Out the Noise with Stillness

“Let be and be still, and know (recognize and understand) that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations! I will be exalted in the earth!” Psalm 46:10 AMP

There is a lost art of “being still” that I believe we need to practice and understand more than ever. My grandmother used to explain to me that if a person can sit in a silent room and be completely content without the need to add something (tv, radio, etc.) then they are truly happy. While I am not attempting to draw such a line in the sand as her statement implies I must say that lately it has been on impressed more than ever on my heart the need for quiet and being still.

The dawning of this reality has come to me in the form of children. When taking two children fishing for the very first time a few years ago we realized that almost as soon as their line was in the water they were completely bored and began begging to leave. In their minds, fishing should be as simple and exciting as a video game or playing with an iPod, iPad, etc. I became so sad when I realized that kids today are so overwhelmed with activity and noise that there really is no “file” in their brain for “quiet” or “stillness”. Since that experience I have observed countless children and adults with this precept in the back of my mind. Disappointingly, I have found in almost every case that busyness is not only acceptable but promoted by adults immersed in technology to the point of reducing stillness to near extinction.

So why do we do this? Why do we feel it is necessary to have every moment of the day jam- packed with activities, errands, and noise? We work so hard and buy technology thinking it will make our lives easier and then we turn around and fill that little bit of saved time with more activities and busyness. Could it be a heart issue and not a culture issue? Could it be that many of the behavior problems, stress problems, and general population discord are caused by our minds being shifted into a state of overdrive and overwhelm with everything going on around us?

We are always saying to one another, “time flies, I just can’t believe how fast time flies!” Time itself isn’t speeding up with any noticeable difference to our human minds. Yet each year really does seem to be over faster than the last. It grieves me when I realize that time only seems to move faster when we are not actually living in the moment. (If you care to test this theory turn off every bit of noise except your watch and be still for ten minutes. You will see that ten minutes of peace and quiet and being “in the present moment” seems a lot longer than ten minutes of running around busy cleaning with the television and radio playing in the background.) I wonder how much time I have lost in my lifetime by being busy and not enjoying the present that I am currently operating in? How many memories are a blur to us because after arriving at one destination my mind is already forging into the next?

During one of our small group meetings recently we were discussing our lives and possible distractions to keeping God as the number one priority. One of our members began to speak about busyness and how busyness is almost a competition among parents, friends, and even Christians doing the “good work” of Jesus. This discussion led to a non-hesitant agreement among the group about what a battle it really is to maintain a clear schedule and keep ourselves and our families regulated in a place of peace and contentment at home.

Recently I have sat in on the training for “Godly Play” which is a program for children’s worship invented by Episcopal priest, author, and teacher Jerome Berryman. When I realized the depth of this program I was both stunned and excited as I became aware of the treasure that lies within. The program is geared around the idea of worship and quiet time to become more fully aware of the mystery of God’s presence in our lives. The children in the program are presented with a story by a storyteller that is also immersed in the story him/herself (instead of looking at the children and teaching them they are using props and acting out the story as if they too are learning). Afterwards the children are given an opportunity to respond in a creative way individually (artwork, blocks, puzzles, etc.). When I first sat in on this program I found it difficult to stay regulated and calm and quiet for the entire half hour! But as I have continued training and watching children that have been introduced to the program around the same time that I was I have noticed a visible difference in all of us. We enter the program with quiet anticipation of hearing from God, responding to God, and resting our bodies in stillness. Each week our bodies and minds become a little more accustomed to being still.

In The Screwtape Letters, by C.S. Lewes, Screwtape (one demon training another to mislead his new Christian assignment) advises:

“As long as they’re volunteering anyway, an especially useful tactic is to keep them busy. Really busy. It’s not hard to do, because they like to think the more work they do, the more spiritual they are. They help us out in this by using guilt to get others to volunteer, and some people will respond by volunteering without thinking it through. It’s also easy for us because humans these days like to cram as many activities and responsibilities into their day as possible.”

Bringing peace into our lives by wisely choosing activities and involvement is wisdom. Seeking God about the volunteer opportunities we are called to partake in rather than taking on anything we can cram in is one way to choose peace and stillness. Other small ways to eliminate or bring noise to a minimum can also be form of warfare. Graham Cooke often says, “Rest is a weapon against the enemy. He cannot penetrate your peace.” Bringing our minds and bodies to a place of rest is choosing to operate in the peace that God has already given us.

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” John 14:27

This verse is clear that Jesus left us with the Peace brought by the Holy Spirit. We must choose to operate in that peace and not “let” our hearts be troubled. Subconsciously, noise affects us and our bodies. If we are tense, stressed, and exasperated we should pull back and look at the noise level in our lives over the past several days. It truly is the little things in our life that create big waves of difference.

Realistically we cannot always have a quiet home or block off hours of quiet time to receive from the Lord. But if we make a mental note to bring the noise that we can control to a minimum there will be a permanent difference in our relationships, responses, and stress/energy levels. For me, stillness brings intimacy with God that I have not experienced anywhere else. When I am out in the working in the garden and listening to the beauty of nature and noticing the colors around me I feel freely connected to God with no hindrances. When I am in the car and choose to turn off the radio and be in the moment listening to the drone of the engine, the pavement beneath the car, and feel the sunshine through the glass, I think of Jesus. Bringing peace into our lives in the small ways by choosing to eliminate or bring noise to a minimum will be one of the greatest forms of warfare.

“We cannot fully realize true intimacy with God until we learn how to come before Him in quietness of spirit, mind, and body. An atmosphere of stillness is absolutely essential for us if we wish to experience deep, loving communion with our Lord. David the psalmist wrote, ‘My soul waits in silence for God only.’ The prophet Habakkuk proclaimed, ‘But the Lord is in His holy temple. Let all the earth be silent before Him.’ When Elijah listened for the counsel of God, he heard the Lord not in the wind, the earthquake or the fire, but in a ‘still small voice.’….Quietness is a time-honored and proven method of prayer and fellowship with God that is almost totally ignored by modern-day Christians. Learning to be quiet before the Lord is one of the greatest challenges we face today in our quest to enter in and experience true intimacy with Him.”

James Goll in The Lost Art of Practicing His Presence

Often I am approached by others asking what they can do to hear the voice of God more clearly. One person said to me, “I ask God things all the time but I never get answers. What can I do?” My simple and only response for this person was, “Do you wait for an answer?” It is so easy to spout off our prayers to our Father and bounce straight into the next part of our day. But just as we check our emails and wait for responses, our telephones for voicemails, our Facebook for updates we should be checking back in with God so that He can share with us as well. When I have friends over I turn down the radio, turn off the television, and listen to them. In doing this I am not merely being respectful I am making a way for us to connect, converse, and build relationship. I think it would be a great privilege to be called a “Friend of God” just as Abraham was. (James 2:23)

I challenge you to dissect your daily routine for ways to create an atmosphere and lifestyle of stillness. Be a true friend of God. Choose quiet and peace because in doing so you are choosing true intimacy.

In his book “Prayers From the Heart”, Richard Foster offers a Prayer For Quiet:

“I have, O Lord, a noisy heart. And entering outward silence doesn’t stop the inner clamor. In fact, it seems only to make it worse. When I am full of activity, the internal noise is only a distant rumble; but when I get still, the rumble amplifies itself. And it is not like the majestic sound of a symphony rising to a grand crescendo; rather, it is the deafening din of clashing pots and clanging pans. What a racket! Worst of all, I feel helpless to hush the interior pandemonium. Dear Lord Jesus, you once spoke peace to the wind and the waves. Speak Your shalom over my heart. I wait silently…patiently. I receive into the very core of my being Your loving command, ‘Peace, be still.’ Amen.”

Further Resource Suggestions:

Young Children and Worship – Sonja M. Stewart, Jerome Berryman

The Lost Art of Practicing His Presence – James Goll

The Practice of the Presence of God – Brother Lawrence

Loving What Is – Byron Katie

Crafted Prayer – Graham Cooke

Heavenly Mindset in an Earthly Realm

At the beginning of the year I wrote in my journal something that I felt the Lord was revealing to me about my personal life this year. I wrote: “This is the year for shaking. 2013 was a year for growing roots but 2014 is shaking and strengthening these roots….Your roots are not complete yet! They will continue to grow as you take to heart the seriousness and importance of the shaking around you. Respect me but do not fear. I am around you and my Spirit is within you! Be a fragrance, be a light. One word: intimacy.”

As we move into the month of March I have seen a lot of shaking happening around me. I have also been so thankful that the Lord has been my anchor in and through every one of these trials because through Him my roots have continued to push through the dry soil and strive into the presence of deep and true living water to replenish my soul. The refreshing water of the word has not only given me comfort but has allowed me to be of comfort to others. Throughout the past three months I have learned that in any situation there is only one valid question to be asked: What is God’s perspective on this?

“Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.” Psalms 119:105

Our thoughts are formed like trees according to human brain researcher Dr. Caroline Leaf. Every thought in our brain looks like a tree at the molecular level and as the thought develops proteins begin to form around the thought and create the structure of the tree. Scientists have proven that our brains are wired to receive and build on healthy thoughts because as we meditate on healthy thoughts the proteins build around them and then transfer into our bodies through chemical reactions, hormonal releases, electrical circuits, and eventually actions. Whether we have good or bad thoughts our brains continue to wire these thoughts and build proteins around them which constantly change the chemical makeup of our brain. Likewise, toxic thoughts that are built into a structure in our brain will eventually cause problems to us physically as Dr. Leaf explains “Nearly 95% of physical, emotional, and behavior problems today come from our thought life.”

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” Philippians 4:8

As we choose to seek God for His perspective on our lives and situations we face we are choosing to build healthy “trees” in our minds that will eventually become so lush and strong that toxic thoughts and trees will wither away. I believe the key to knowing God’s perspective on things comes from intimacy and relationship with Him. Being sensitive to what we are thinking, praying, and speaking is birthed from closeness to the presence of God.

“Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.And God said, ‘Let there be light,’ and there was light.” Genesis 1:2-3

The same spirit that hovered over the waters and responded to the words of our Father in heaven resides within us. Through salvation in Jesus we allow His spirit to hover over our lives and our situations and every shaking that we may face. Notice first the Spirit hovered and afterward God spoke. I believe this verse applies to us and our prayer life as well. The Spirit of God will hover over us and reveal to us what is right and what is to be spoken into our situations. Speaking light into our lives is partnering with Christ because He is the light of the world. When we speak light into our lives we are speaking the name of Jesus.

“I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” John 8:12

David Herzog writes in Mysteries of the Glory Unveiled, “When the presence of God is hovering over you in a given place, and you hear his voice saying something……you must speak those words out. Learn to do it spontaneously as He is saying it, and when you do, creative miracles will begin to manifest themselves.” Our God is a creator and even today in our lives He works to create miracles all around us. He creates miracles of blessing, favor, wisdom, paths of outreach, healing, provision, guidance and comfort, and much more! It is up to us to speak the things we feel the Lord saying into the situations around us and into our lives.

“He (Jesus) was given authority, glory and sovereign power; all nations and peoples of every language worshiped him. His dominion is an everlasting dominion that will not pass away, and his kingdom is one that will never be destroyed.” Daniel 7:14

Joyce Meyers’ discusses applying the word of God as a medicine. She explains that when we have a headache smearing an ibuprofen on our heads will not help it one bit. We have to by mouth internally take and digest the ibuprofen for it to cure our headache. Joyce believes that applying the word of God as medicine daily in our lives is one of the strongest ways to boost and push us towards healing and wholeness both internally and externally. I couldn’t agree more!

When I am faced with a shaking I have begun to find scriptures that relate to the situation. I seek the Lord and His word and when I find the applicable scriptures and compile them I pray and speak them directly into whatever situation I am facing. If I am interceding for a friend I will often find a verse or scripture that relates to that person and pray that specific verse over their life as well.

“But he answered, ‘It is written, ’Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.’” Matthew 4:4

Pressing in and learning to be still and wait on the Lord to give us His perspective is a discipline and a challenge that most of us tend to bypass on the first shot. We want fast prayers and fast answers so that we can move on with our lives. Then as an after-thought we wonder why our prayers are not being answered and why we seem to shoot a thousand arrows into heaven with only a few hitting the mark. This was not God’s design for us. We are created to press in and allow His spirit to hover over us so that we can then speak the light of Jesus and His perspective in a prayer that will hit the mark every time. The circumstances we are in are perfectly designed to bring us closer to Jesus and more Christ-like in character! Sometimes we don’t need fast answers; sometimes we need the process!

“How do we listen in on that conversation in Heaven? First, we enter God’s presence with thanksgiving. Then we still ourselves, finding rest in that secret place He has set aside for us. God will reveal Himself to us in a number of ways. We have the scripture because it tells us what the heart and mind of God is in certain situations. It’s like a heavenly cheat sheet…..We use prayer to pray the will of God, and that brings us into a place of faith and proclamations. We grow in confidence in the will of God, as our prayers change us to be more like Him. We have decided to follow the process that God has ordained in the circumstances He has allowed to unfold.”

Graham Cooke in Crafted Prayer

While I am convinced there is no set formula for intimacy with Jesus, I know that my time seeking His will in my life has brought me to a place of closeness with Him that I have never before experienced on this earth. It doesn’t always look like a silent room with me on my knees in prayer but often takes the form of everyday activities. His perspective will come to me during every day “aha moments” such as exercise, cooking supper, cleaning the house, speaking with a friend, meditating on scripture.

I challenge you to take a look at the things you are facing today. Look closely at the shaking that is in your life or the life of someone around you. Look at the shaking that is in your church, town, state, country, or our world. Ask Jesus what His perspective is and what piece you have been called to pray about. Compile scriptures, press in to the Light of the World, and pray with confidence. After all, Jesus is the one that said, “the Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son also does.” (John 5:19) Let us also be imitators of Christ! (1 Thessalonians 2:14)

Preparing our Nets for Harvest

Preparing our Nets for Harvest

Recently I was invited by my friend Madison Brown to Elizabethtown College where she is a senior. She took my husband and me to a quaint coffee house in the downtown district that was so comfortable, casual, and wonderful that I felt as if I were stepping onto the 90’s screen set of Friends. I even looked around for Joey or Phoebe before realizing that I was in real life and with real friends! As Madison, Rick (my husband), and myself sat munching on vegetable chili, hot chocolate, and turkey sandwiches Madison shared what has been on her heart with us.

Growing up at a local church that was going through a split Madison found herself more than a little tossed about by the waves of hurt, tension, and abandonment that so often happen during these unfortunate events. Some of the same people that had been such strong and Godly examples in her life up until the split suddenly refused to acknowledge her or even share with her when she encountered them in public.

She was reflecting on this experience and processing the healing that God has done in her heart since this has happened. In the grand scheme of things she ventured out to ask an even deeper question: We pray for Revival but how can we expect this to happen without looking inside of ourselves and becoming the people we claim we want to be?

As the three of us discussed this question and the possible answers we were able to share in a place of vulnerability that you only see in the midst of God’s presence. Madison explained how in processing her hurt she decided that she was going to be spurred towards Christ-likeness. She determined to always think outside of herself and respond to those around her in love. She has grown into a woman that seeks to live the life in Christ that she longed to see in those around her as a child.

She explained that she heard a sermon preached once about a child that was at a wave pool in an amusement park. The child began to drown but all of the adults in the area were focused on themselves and whatever they were doing (socializing, sunbathing, reading) and no one realized the child was dying in the wave pool. This picture paralleled to the body of Christ and how often we are so focused on ourselves that we miss the bigger picture and the fact that there are very real people around us “drowning in waves” without the touch of God that we have been given the power to provide.

Perhaps it is time to look at some of the wounds we have received inside and outside of the body of Christ and decide we need to move on. Forgiving others, determining to become Christ-like ourselves, and actively pursuing our purpose in the Body of Christ may be the very key to a revival or fresh encounter in our country.

“So often we take ownership of the wrongs that are done to us,” Madison says, “but when we separate ourselves from them and realize we all make mistakes it is easier to get over it.” While our bad feelings may take time to go away, voicing our forgiveness to God and realizing that we too have been forgiven for much is step one to receiving the healing that our heart is crying out for. Once we have forgiven, we have to look at our lives and decide there will be “no wasted pain”. Learn from the hurt and allow Jesus show you areas in your life that you may be susceptible to hurt others in the same way. Through surrender you can become the person to bless those that need it the most.

Reflection comes before revival. Setting our hearts right in forgiveness and extending love to others will always precede any move of God. Rick Joyner in The Harvest writes, “It is by beholding His glory that we are changed into His image, which is the image the church is called to bear.” It is time that as a church we begin to reflect who Christ is and become the example of true love that the world is longing to see.

Madison believes that beyond forgiving we also need to be sensitive to our own actions and to who may be watching us from a distance. “It should be our hearts desire,” Madison writes, “to be intentional in our actions so that we don’t push someone away from the love of Christ.” Looking beyond our own hurts and realizing that we too may have hurt others can be a difficult thing to face. As we behold Christ we will reconcile our lives in a way that draws others to us (and therefore Christ) rather than creating a division.

I believe that God did not leave very specific instructions about the way His church was to be set up doctrinally for a reason. While the fundamentals generally are the same across denominations there are small differences in roles, offices, and specific presentations. Each is good for us and for where we are located in the body of Christ. While one church may be the finger of the body, another may be an elbow. I certainly hope my finger functions differently than my elbow! Both are good, both are my body, both are different. When Jesus returns I believe all of these minimal differences will fall by the wayside in light of His glory. We will no longer see these small differences because we will see how we come together in one larger body.

Where is your place in the body of Christ? What is your purpose? It is reported from surveys done at Christian conferences by MorningStar Ministries that fewer than 5% of all Christians know their purpose in the body of Christ. This shows how our body is not equipped for the task at hand. How can a body function if each part does not know its own purpose? How can our nets hold the masses of fish that are to be coming into them if we are not united and flowing together in love and discipline allowing each part to function the way he/she was created to and not the way we think they should?

Rick Joyner goes on in The Harvest to write, “One of the reasons so many Christians are ‘tossed here and there by waves’ is because they are not set in a body or connected as they should be. One cannot be set in the body rightly if they do not know their part and are not functioning as that part…..our teacher referred to the present church as being like living stones that were just piled up here and there instead of having been built together into the temple we are called to be. One can easily steal a stone off of a pile of stones, but once it has been cemented into its place in the temple it will not be easily removed.

Because we were called before the foundation of the world with our purpose, to not be able to function in that purpose breeds a certain frustration and discontent that has in fact been the real reason for much of the discord in local churches, and even many church splits….people would not be so upset about many petty things if they were not so generally frustrated by not knowing their purpose and not being able to function in it.”

Based on what he has written I came to realize that just now, after nearly 30 years of life, am I starting to walk in my calling in the body of Christ. And now that I am even in my baby steps of functioning in this purpose I feel a contentment that I never felt before! Suddenly everything else has fallen in my eyes and instead of seeing what is done wrong I see what He is doing right in our midst!

Jesus says in Matthew 24:44 “And whoever falls on this Stone will be broken to pieces, but he on whom It falls will be crushed to powder [and It will winnow him, scattering him like dust].”

To fall on the stone and be broken, allowing God to search our heart so we can forgive, find our purpose in the body of Christ, and prepare our nets for harvesting is the first step. To be fishers of men our nets will need to be strong. As many of you know the greatest level of hurt can happen within the four walls of the church. I believe it is because the hurts received by fellow believers wounds our spirits directly and not just our minds. It is critical that we are all lined up and performing in our places so that when others more wounded than we can even imagine come to us there is a place free from discord and tension. The church is to be a safe place not just because of the presence of God but because of the people that represent Him there!

It is time to be bold and rise up to be who we were created to be. Allow healing to flow as you march forward. God desires for you to be healed. God desires for you to bring healing to others. As always, this journey will start on the inside.

Reflect.

Forgive.

Find your purpose.

Prepare the nets.

Receive Harvest.

My Kind of Love

My Kind of Love

I have noticed over the past five years of marriage that a lot of people give my husband credit for putting up with a wife that has a disability. There is always an undertone when people speak of my marriage. They say things like, “He really is a good man to overlook everything.” Or “Well, if he doesn’t mind that you don’t have a leg I guess its no one else’s business”, and my personal favorite and most frequently heard, “I’m glad you were able to find someone that could love you for you and not for what you look like.”

These comments can be said with good intentions but sadly they are also very hurtful. The existing presuppositions always point to me not being worth enough. It saddens me in so many ways to see that our society places so much value in ability. The rule of thumb in society seems to be: Our worth is in our ability and physical looks.

When I met my husband I wasn’t looking for anyone to share my life with. I had been through dating several men and most of those scenarios ended disastrously for me. My career was going well working as a contractor for DuPont in Wilmington, DE. I had my own apartment, money, and everything else a single woman could ask for. I had finally become happy with my life and made the most of every day.

A week before Rick and I started dating.

When Rick and I started dating we stayed together because we complimented one another. Both of our lives were enriched because we were together. He was in a very difficult place with his family and his finances when we met and together we started making goals for improving his life. We both had a future in mind and goals in our hearts that we were working towards separately. After dating for a few weeks we began to realize how these goals were alike and how well we connected talking about our dreams and plans for the future. As we encouraged each other we realized that our dreams were really intertwined as one dream. While pushing one another towards greatness we had really pushed ourselves together in love.

For us, we fell in love so strongly that we knew we were meant to be together. Within three weeks of dating we discussed love, marriage, and a future. Our feelings for one another were so strong that there was no denying it was meant to be. After hearing so many say “when you meet the right one you will know” I can finally confirm the degree of truth in this. Yet the path forward wasn’t all peaches and cream because we both had wounding in our hearts from the past.

It was Fern, from Discovering MErcy, who spoke directly to the insecurities in my heart. She explained that every person on earth has the potential to hurt us at some point. She explained that putting our trust in people (including a future spouse) is not God’s design. God’s design is that we place our trust in Him! When my heart is in God’s hands He is responsible for what happens to me and for helping me clean up any wounds, breaks, or bangs that may come along the way. I may be disabled but as long as my belief is in Him who is able then I am free to love the man in front of me transparently.

“Listen to this wise advice; follow it closely, for it will do you good, and you can pass it on to others: Trust in the Lord.” Proverbs 22:17-19

“I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him until that day.” 2 Timothy 1:12

Through this I realized that love was not about my ability or Rick’s ability to meet my needs. Love stands alone as it seeks only the heart of another. The world falsely manipulates us into believing that love must be tied into physical looks and physical strength. But from my experience it is so much easier to allow God to be your strength and determine that you will complement your spouse’s life with love and not take from it with your own needs.

I really do not like the way that our society judges couples and seeks out “which is stronger” in relationships. We often hear in our circles, “How did he land that beautiful woman?”, or “I just can’t see why she stays with him she could do much better!” But all we are doing when we entertain these words is placing a measuring tape of ability and holding others up to it for judgment. Oh how I wish that we could do away with this tape of measurement altogether. Why must someone be weak and someone be strong? Why must one be more attractive than their partner? Why must someone be able and someone disabled? Marriage is about love not about ability. Life is about love and not ability.

Because of my love for the beach prior to having my amputation I still mustered the courage to be married on one!

Going to the beach is one of the greatest struggles that I face because of these standards our society boasts. The beach has always been one of my favorite places but I cannot say since being an amputee at the age of four that there have been many carefree memories spent there. As a married woman I long to have my husband be able to consider me a “trophy wife” and have a wife on his arm that others look at and nod in approval. Instead, when we go to the beach and I look around I see that others will stop walking to stare, point, and grab the attention of their peers to objectify me when they see me in my bathing suit. Being an amputee, in order to get in the water I have to walk down to the water with my crutches and get into the water to sit while my husband takes my crutches back to the blanket. While I wait for him to come back people stare in wonder, amusement and sometimes even shaking their head with disapproval.

But time and again as I sit there in the water waiting for my husband to return (with my heart pounding in my ears and my body trembling with embarrassment) I look up apologetically at his face only to be amazed. Rick’s crystal blue eyes always seem so oblivious to what is happening around us! He stares at me with sparkling eyes and a huge smile as he excitedly says, “Ready to swim?!” He is so focused on the love that we share together that he doesn’t even see the others or the faults in my figure that they see!

Once I asked him about this in exasperation and tears. I demanded to know why he is never affected by those around us when he must see how blatantly ugly I really am through their actions towards me. He replied simply, “Oh, well, they don’t know you. They don’t see how beautiful you really are that far away.” Rick sees love as it stands alone. He sees beauty from the eyes of our Father in heaven. He does not see ability as a measure of standard.

“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” Proverbs 31:30

Raising my glass (of water!) to courage!

“Where there is a will there is a way” has been pounded into our heads since grade school. But do we really believe it? There is a way to accomplish any task and I believe that the way it gets done doesn’t interfere with love one bit. Yes, there are times when Rick will do things to help me physically because he loves me. But he certainly doesn’t love me any less if I do them myself in a different way than another woman would!

As we creep up on our sixth year together I am delighted to say that our love is more real now than it was when we were married! Time has slowly purged a lot of the negative standards of society from my mind as I embrace and receive the love that is before me. Love takes on an entire new dimension when we look beyond the surface and see the heart of an individual. Who is to judge what that journey should look like? Every journey is unique and every journey is beautiful.

Looking at your own relationship with your spouse do you see love alone? Do you see how you were brought together to complement one another and add to each other? Do you see strengths and weaknesses, dos and don’ts, beauty and ugliness? Make a commitment to shatter this false belief today.

Focus on love as it stands alone; all the rest will fade into oblivion.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Attitude of Lack – Removing the Belief System

Our words have power and our beliefs have power over our lives. The bible is clear about this: “The tongue has the power of life and death…” Proverbs 18:21 and “For as he thinks in his heart, so he is.” Proverbs 23:7

Recently someone prayed over my husband and I about living in God’s abundance and not receiving a spirit (or attitude) of lack. While we by no means have a bottomless bank account I never think of us as being in lack. Our bills are paid, the refrigerator and freezer are full, the temperature has been in the single digits and our house is cozy and full of warmth. This is the abundant life that God has given to us! Yet when this was prayed over us I felt the Lord shoot a small arrow of conviction into my heart. This caused me to spend some time praying and seeking Him about an attitude of lack. As I asked God to search my heart in this area the results were surprising.

“You have searched me, Lord, and you know me.” Psalm 139:1

The bible says that he who hates his brother or sister has already committed murder in his heart. (1 John 3:15) This demonstrates to us that sin is sin in God’s eyes and none of it can stand in light of His holiness. It also sheds light on the idea of principles. The principle rather than “do not murder” is “do not hate” because out of hate other sins stem such as murder.

While on the outside I do not see any way that I have invited or opened the door for my heart to be twisted by an attitude of poverty and lack, I began asking the Lord to search my heart for any beliefs that would open the door to greater problems of lack down the road. A small belief of lack in my mind now could result in bitterness, separation from God, idolatry, suffering, even poverty in the future. As I studied the topic and spent time on my knee (not yet plural!), God was gracious enough to shine the truth on my heart so that transformation could begin within.

Lack

“When you have eaten and are satisfied, praise the Lord your God for the good land he has given you.” Deuteronomy 8:10

Lack is defined through several phrases in the dictionary. It is described as “missing something” and being “deficient in” something. When there is absence of something needed, desirable, or customary we consider ourselves in lack. Lastly, Dictionary.com describes lack as: To fall short in respect of.

Lynne Twist in her book The Soul of Money writes:

“For me, and for many of us, our first waking thought of the day is ‘I didn’t get enough sleep.’ The next tone is ‘I don’t have enough time.’ Whether true or not, that thought of not enough occurs to us automatically before we even think to question or examine it. We spend most of the hours and the days of our lives hearing, explaining, complaining, or worrying about what we don’t have enough of….Before we even sit up in bed, before our feet touch the floor, we’re already inadequate, already behind, already losing, already lacking something.”

“ Scarcity is the ‘never enough’ problem. The word scarce is from the Old Norman French scars, meaning ‘restricted in quantity’ (c.1300). Scarcity thrives in a culture where everyone is hyperaware of lack. Everything from safety and love to money and resources feels restricted or lacking. We spend inordinate amounts of time calculating how much we have, want and don’t have, and how much everyone else has, needs and wants.” (Brene Brown in Daring Greatly) Throughout this book she goes on to state how shame for not “having enough” is heaped on us and heaped on others by us through comparisons and many other forms.

Worry

One way in which I have invited an attitude of lack into my life is by worrying. Whenever I worry I am in parallel with the principle idea saying: “God is not in control of this, He is falling short in respect of…, there is something I need that I am not getting from God.” As I began to think of the different ways in my life that I worry and think about things in a worrisome state I realized that through worry and not acknowledging God’s control of those areas I had invited the idea of scarcity into my life.

“²⁴Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! ²⁵Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life^[a]? ²⁶Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?” Luke 12:24-26

When I would worry about my husband driving tractor and trailer I was essentially saying, “God you are not enough to take care of my husband as he drives”. When I would worry about the fact that we do not have our own children yet I was saying, “God is not providing something desirable to me, I am without and He doesn’t care”. On days that I had been frustrated with having one leg and began to worry about not being able to take care of myself I invited lack into my life by thinking: “God isn’t going to take care of me, He may not give me what I need.” All of these are very simple examples of ways that we can invite a heart attitude of lack into our lives.

“Grace and peace be yours in abundance through the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord.” 2 Peter 1:2

As we give up the reins and allow Jesus to reign on the throne we can surrender our worrying and accept the peace and the grace freely given to us. It is time for us to confront the fact that God is in control and we must trust Him with our concerns and not enter into suffering through worry.

Scarcity

As I began to lie all of these things at the foot of the cross I felt the Holy Spirit telling me there was more. That night I had a dream: I was in my home and we had company. In my dream I was telling the people everything wrong with the house and telling them that “we don’t have what we need here” and in response the people in my home were telling me what they needed in their life as well. As I was speaking this in my dream I remembered that there was an entire suitcase of money in my dining room. I remembered this but because I was scared that I would need all of that money for myself I simply continued agreeing with the company about the lack all around us. Suddenly I felt I needed to stop agreeing and start saying out loud, “HE IS ENOUGH, HE IS ENOUGH, JESUS IS ENOUGH!” in my dream and as I did this the entire conversation in the room shifted and changed as people began joining in praise about the things that we DID have to work with.

When I awoke I prayed about this dream and felt so strongly that the Lord was revealing to me the next area of my life that I had invited lack. Whenever we agree with an attitude or voice that we “do not have enough” we empowering this belief system. How many times do we voice to others or say, “If I only had X I could… (Complete this project, get this job, make this money, give to others, quit this addiction, etc.)” ?

This belief system is inviting a spirit of lack into our lives! Whenever we agree with negative and scarcity thinking that we do not have enough in our lives we are agreeing with the Father of Lies (Satan) and inviting the lie that there is not enough and God is not in control. We are agreeing in shame that we are not worth God’s provision.

“Then he said to them, “Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; life does not consist in an abundance of possessions.” Luke 12:15

The truth is everything we have is everything we need. It may not be what we want but God has given us what we need. Do you feel like we should bless someone with money? Give it whether you feel like you need that money in your pocket or not. God will bless you with replacement! No matter how little we have in materials we can still live in abundance.

When training me to help in Children’s Worship Jessica Hostetler told me that the leaders consider snack time a “feast” and refer to it as such to the children. Even though it may only be one handful of goldfish or pretzels per child, she explained, it is not about how much they have it is about the fellowship around them that makes it a feast. To me, this demonstrates abundant living in its fullest. Whatever you have around you right now you can live abundantly with. Begin to look with your spiritual eyes and allow the renewing of your mind in truth!

Chaos, Control, Codependence

Last I was shown another way in which I had invited an attitude of lack and scarcity into my life. In one of my other posts I discuss the three circles in life (Ours, God’s, Other’s) and how any time we reach out of our own circle we are inviting chaos/codependence and are out of line.

https://crutchprints.com/2013/12/10/chaos-free-circles-operating-from-a-place-of-peace/

The Lord began to show me that when I try to control others by correcting or admonishing, changing people, or changing situations that are not in my jurisdiction to change I am inviting an attitude of lack. Not only am I out of line but I am empowering this belief through my own attempt to control something (or someone): “God you cannot change that person/situation I must change them/it.”

Do you have problems with your children? Don’t try to operate out of threat and fear because you are stepping out of your circle of jurisdiction to manipulate. Learn the ways of LOVE! (Bryan Post has excellent love-based discipline if you aren’t familiar.) Is your husband driving you nuts with something he does? Nagging will not help, dishonoring him to others will not help, and trying to change him will not help. Is someone you love going down a bad path of addiction and you feel it must stop? Becoming codependent and heaping guilt on them will not achieve your goal and if it does the result will be short lived. All of these situations are in God’s hands and only God can change the hearts of others! He may use us to influence in love but any time we step out of our “circle” we are inviting lack into our life.

You see, others do not exist to fill the needs within us. And we all have needs, we were created with needs of intimacy and relationship. But our children do not exist to make our lives run smoothly. Our spouses do not exist to keep us from feeling lonely. Only Jesus can fill the needs within us. Our children, our friends, our family, our spouses will never be enough to meet our needs in this fallen world. Of course God may use them in His way to meet needs for us but the source of our provision must be Jesus.

Wrong person on the throne!

Keep God on the Throne

“Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” James 1:5

It is so very important for us to keep God on the throne of our lives. To remember that we are mere stewards of all we are given and honoring God and His word accordingly is true respect. Remember, lack can be thought of as “something missing in respect of”. With the price Jesus paid on the cross there is nothing missing in respect of abundant living. There is no lack and there is nothing that we need being withheld from us.

Pray forth the things which we are called to ask for. Speak the good things into our lives and remember that what we have right now is enough for the task on hand.

“Those who guard their lips preserve their lives, but those who speak rashly will come to ruin.” Proverbs 13:3

No matter what we have or what we need our trust is in Jesus. Jesus is enough. His sacrifice on the cross was enough. He sits at the right hand of the Father in Heaven and brings provision to us, change to those around us, peace within us. Let’s shatter these false beliefs in our minds so we accept His provisions today and live in abundance. After all, HE IS ENOUGH!

“I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows).” John 10:10

Consequences of Having One Foot in the Grave

My Great Grandfather Burke who lost both of his legs above knee in a railroad incident. He farmed 40 acres despite his amuptations — My Great Grandfather Burke who lost both of his legs above knee in a railroad incident. He farmed 40 acres despite his amputations

When my leg was removed as a child my parents decided to purchase a grave plot and have it buried. Their reasons were modest enough and I am honored that they took my amputation so seriously. Still, I remember the awkward moment as a child standing before my grave plaque and trying to make the connection in my brain between my very much alive body and the very creepy grave plot which contained my very dead and amputated leg.

Of course, as an adult the idea of coining the phrase “one foot in the grave” has its appeal. There remains however the dilemma of where I will be buried when I do pass on from this world. Naturally, I would like to be buried near my husband. Meanwhile the majority of my family is buried in a different graveyard that is local and I have thought about how nice it would be to lie there. At not even thirty years old I shouldn’t be putting this much thought into my death! Yet, the fact remains I have one foot in the grave and I need to figure this out at some point.

Do I buy the plot next to my leg so that my husband and I can be together and I can be buried with my leg? Or do I somehow set money aside and leave directions in my will to have my leg dug back up and moved to wherever I am buried? Let’s be honest, who would want that job of digging up a dead person’s body part and what would they think of me? Isn’t the whole point of dying leaving a good legacy? Yep, I’m pretty sure that would be squashed the second they dug up a decayed child-sized right leg!

Since there will be a new body in heaven waiting for me why even bother? This life is temporary and we will all move on to better things and should give no thought to the past! Yet whenever I pass that particular graveyard containing my leg I give a silent nod and salute towards my missing piece.

The truth is even if it doesn’t matter whether or not I am buried with my leg I simply feel a bit disorganized knowing that there may be parts of me scattered about. I feel a little responsible to take care of my body – all of it. Of course, this theory will be literally blown away in the event that I am killed in any sort of bombing.

So for now, until my probable cause of death is resolved in my head the issue shall remain unresolved. I still have a ways to go; after all, I’ve only one foot in the grave.

*Please understand this piece was written in humor. While yes, I really do think about this issue from time to time the reality is I believe Jesus will restore my body and it really doesn’t matter where I am buried or how I am buried!

Things Break – But We Don’t Have To (Part 2)

Last time in my post titled: Things Break – But We Don’t Have To (https://crutchprints.com/2014/01/07/things-break-but-we-dont-have-to/) we looked at ways that we tend to operate on the edge of a stress cliff. We overstress ourselves and stay teetering at the edge of our stress cliff so often that when one small and unexpected event (something breaks down in our life) our capacity is maxed out and we go toppling over the edge of the stress cliff. This results in frustration, anger, cursing, depression, silent treatment, or whatever our choice method of hyper/hypo arousal may be that day. In “Things Break – But We Don’t Have To” we discussed the importance of making choices with our time and how that can make room for things that may go wrong so we can deal with them in a healthy way.

For those of us that have a difficult time throughout the day thinking “out of the box” to avoid places of stress there is another tool we can use. It is called “Mindfulness” or the “54321 Method”. The idea is to bring yourself back to the moment so that you are aware of everything around and inside of you including how stressed you are, whether or not you need a rest, or if you need to take more time to stop “steamrolling” forward. It brings your mind completely into the present moment so that you can look at your situation with a new perspective.

Using this method (go into a bathroom if you need to escape!) you will come into a present and mindful state by:

Taking a deep breath and close your eyes.
Opening your eyes and focusing on 5 objects around you and thank God for their beauty. How do they relate, what are their colors, textures, shapes.
Noticing 4 specific things you hear around you.
Feeling 3 body sensations. Things you are feeling or touching.
Pointing out 2 smells.
Focusing on the taste in your mouth.

Practice this a few times a day. Maybe even pick one or two of these things to focus on. Set a phone alarm when you know you are the busiest and take a two minute break to bring yourself into the moment so that you can continue with a clear mind and operate within your capacity without stress. Remember, the idea here is to continue operating from a place of peace so that when the curveball breakdown happens it does not send us over the edge.

Because we are human we will all experience disappointment when something breaks down right in front of us. It is only natural for our emotions to express an attitude of disappointment because that is how we are wired. Most of our lives we are taught that emotions and attitudes are bad and if we express disappointment we should be ashamed.

An example of this when we were told as a teenager to clean out the refrigerator we stomped our foot and rolled our eyes. This was an emotional response to something inside. We were processing why we were unhappy about having to change from whatever we were doing that we felt was important to the new priority of cleaning the refrigerator. Chances are in our society we were disciplined by our parents for our reactions.

We are taught that expressing emotions is shameful even though at the core of our being we still feel the emotions we are taught not to express. (There is not one person reading this that hears their alarm clock on a very early morning and doesn’t hit the snooze button one time and then slowly trudge out of bed with an attitude and feeling of disappointment about not sleeping!) These emotions and attitudes help us to transition into the “next thing” which in the above case is “morning”.

When we are operating from a clear head and a full capacity we suddenly have the ability to process our emotions when something breaks down and say to ourselves, “Wow, this really sucks. This couldn’t have happened at a more terrible time. What is really needed in this situation? How can I give grace to (myself, my child, my spouse, my car) and respond in love?”

Every person is responsible for knowing and operating in his/her own capacity without stressing out and overflowing into anger, frustration, silence, dissociation, etc. We are each responsible for knowing where our limits reside. We are responsible for choosing to not operate on the border of stress, because when we do we only hurt other people or ourselves.

In my writing about chaos I define a little more clearly the things we are responsible for and things we are not. The things that are beyond our control we can “feel” and process the emotions and repercussions of but we cannot try to control them or we will end up with closed fists fighting against the impossible.

(https://crutchprints.com/2013/12/10/chaos-free-circles-operating-from-a-place-of-peace/)

So let’s back up a little bit when we have something break down in our life and get “in the moment”. Let’s use whatever tools apply to help get us back in the present moment. Let’s stay away from the cliff of stress. Let’s process our feelings in a way that extends grace and peace, allows for disappointment, and doesn’t lash out in anger.

After all, things will break. But we don’t have to.

(Sources: From Fear To Love,Book by B. Bryan Post; Fern from Discovering MErcy)

Greatness

To be given a lot we must start with a little

We must nurture that little each jot and each tittle

And as we continue to express gratefulness

Character is formed into faithfulness

The quiet still moments that no others see

Little do you know will then set you free

To care for this little given in trust

And multiply this while keeping from lust

Our Father in heaven is watching each move

He knows when we take each bump and each bruise

Promotion will come when we least expect

As a reward for choosing not to fret

The little we are given with labor of love

Will one day go free and fly as a dove

Greatness does not come in big boxes

But wears as a belt with equal notches

The perception of man is not accurate

It doesn’t ever help to have greedy fits

The small and mundane may be the present

So we must careful not to show resent

Our souls will enlarge as the Spirit resides

We will feel no reason to hide

Then as resources are passed along

Growing into greatness will be our song

For many have received before their time

And destruction came and went down their line

For greatness is never in things measured

But internal growth that brings the Lord pleasure

Thanksgiving breeds intimacy with our King

Then influence comes as a natural thing

So today as you travel and think of your plight

Be sure to give thanks and know it is right

Things Break – But we don’t have to! (Part 1 of 2)

Things break. This is not a pessimistic viewpoint or a negative one; it is a reality and one that we must face as we go through life. Lately I have experienced a lot of breaking with the one thing that everyone else takes for granted: Legs. Due to my extremely high amputation it is essential that I see prosthetic providers very specialized to work with my condition. After searching for nearly two years I found a reputable provider about three hours from me (which still beats the drive I had been making to Long Island, NY). But still, the fact is that my legs break.

The past few months as I have become extremely active I have experienced more breaking than ever with the leg’s straps, nuts and bolts, things popping out where they shouldn’t; you get the picture. I have broken my leg when walking, sitting, cooking, and dancing! I guess you can say I have become pretty good at “breaking it down” and “break dancing” on many levels.

The biggest struggle I have with all of this is the disappointment when my leg does break. My reaction can greatly vary depending on the emotions I am feeling. Usually when my leg breaks I am steam-rolling along to accomplish a million and one tasks and suddenly at the absolute worst moment I feel a “pop” and know it is a goner. This can be incredibly frustrating because I am forced to stop everything I am involved in and safely maneuver myself to a place where I can remove the leg privately and find out just what has happened, whether it can be fixed easily, and how to finish what I was doing without two legs to stand on. Needless to say, this alone can fill my “window of capacity” very quickly and leave me very empty and lacking empathy and grace for the next few hours or even the entire day.

Let’s be honest, we all have something in our life that breaks down at the moment we need it most! Is it your car when you have an appointment? Your bank account when you need to make a withdrawal? Is it your relationship right when you are about to have company? Is it your child in the middle of a store? Is it when you are rushing and end up knocking over something in your home as you watch it shatter? All of this is breakage that needs to be dealt with and can easily influence our entire day in a negative way.

Bryan Post describes being in a state of stress as having “closed fists to one another”. When we are in a state of stress (usually after breakage of some sort), he explains, we completely close up and go into a state of survival. There is no peace, no outreach to whatever is breaking down, and most importantly there is no love flowing out from us during a state of survival. I believe it is very important for us to live life in a way that we get the “bigger picture” of stress so when the unexpected “break down” does happen we are not already at our capacity.

Notice earlier when I was talking about my leg breaking I made note that I was already “steam rolling along”. So when my break happened I was already pushing the edge of my capacity and operating on the border of stress. Why do I do that to myself? Why do I not take one task at a time, stop when I need a break or need a rest, and stay in tune with myself? If I were operating from a place of this peace when my leg broke I would have had the capacity to take a step back and handle the disappointment from a perspective of loving myself and not cursing my situation (and everything around me!).

How do you respond when something in your life breaks down? Do you see a pattern with being “in a hurry” or being “already stressed out” leading up to the point of the break? Do you feel often that “this one thing here was the straw that broke the camel’s back”? Why do we allow ourselves to get to the point that we are so stressed out and working out of such a small window of capacity that when one unexpected thing happens (like a break) we completely lose focus in our minds and freak out?

Recognizing our patterns leading up to “breaks” is very important. We cannot always be the victim in our situations. Things do happen. Things break. It is our responsibility to be operating through our daily life in ways that makes room for things like this to happen without sending us over the edge. When I have my leg appointments in New Jersey I leave 40 minutes earlier than needed because I like to leave room for the inevitable to happen. If there is an accident, bad traffic, a wrong turn on my part, or any other problem I want there to be enough time for me to work around the problem without my capacity window being already full by no time allowance. So by giving myself extra time I am making extra capacity for dealing with the inevitable. Did I just make a wrong turn? No big deal, we have forty minutes to work with. Is traffic slower than usual? I don’t need to tail-end anyone I have extra time!

Do you see how we can take specific actions to enlarge our window of capacity and therefore allow ourselves to live in a stress-free state of mind?

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

The Lord gives us very simple tools that we can apply to our daily lives. He has already given us peace; we need to now operate from that peace. We need to find the tools that are provided for us so that we can live in a state of awareness. Aware of ourselves, aware of God, aware of His Holy Spirit at work in our lives.

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” John 14:27

Let’s use whatever tools apply to help get us back in the present moment. Let’s stay away from the cliff of stress. Let’s process our feelings in a way that extends grace and peace, allows for disappointment, and doesn’t lash out in anger.

After all, things will break. But we don’t have to.

(Tune in next week for another very specific tool to guide us away from cliffs of stress! https://crutchprints.com/2014/01/16/things-break-but-we-dont-have-to-part-2/)