Crutchprints in the Sand

Butterfly, oh Nancy

This is a poem that I wrote for my friend Nancy. She has been a very dear friend of mine for the past ten or so years. She is always inspiring, encouraging, and uplifting. As I scuttled around the house one morning this poem and picture was in my mind for her.

It is such a beautiful picture of Father’s love for us that I want to share it here. As you read it, insert your own name and allow the Holy Spirit to wrap you in His special embrace.

Butterfly, Oh Nancy

Oh Nancy you are so special to me

I see you as a butterfly wishing to be free

In cobwebs you’ve been hung up for so long

And now I see you singing a new song

The beauty in triumph, the beauty of your wings

Yet struggles are sticky and to you they cling

To see the spider heading towards you to bite

Butterfly, Oh Nancy you don’t have to fight

The radiant beauty you have from above

Has given you this incredible attitude of love

To know you is to truly experience

As if to sit and share on a bench

Your Father is here he is watching each step

Butterfly, oh Nancy, in surrender you are kept

The way you look at life with such mystery

The visions of your mind the way things should be

Scouring your world for images to post

Your reflections and learnings of which you boast

I see the promises of God stretching before

As you fly in the sun and look up for more

Butterfly, oh Nancy, don’t short yourself

Your tears are in a bottle on heaven’s shelf

Let the wind of the Spirit take you up by your wings

As you smile in the true Son, feel what that brings

Your legacy is in process and nothing is lost

Bursting from your cocoon you know what it cost

But now it is over and there’s nothing to left to do

Now you can experience life anew

Do you hear the whisper, calling your name?

Butterfly, oh Nancy, your life I frame

As a Hip Amputee I can’t run but I can Hide!

Am I the only amputee that finds myself afraid of things I can’t run from? No, I am not talking about things like bears, cheetahs, and wolves because no one can outrun them and I don’t really feel that I am on a different playing field where they are concerned. I’m talking the REALLY dangerous animals, like mice.

A few weeks ago I was up very early and headed to the hospital to see a family member. I had just sold a set of bowls online and went to grab them to meet up with the buyer so my parking fees at the hospital would be covered in cash. Singing “Zip-a-dee-doo-dah” (not an exaggeration I really do sing this song) I bounced down to the basement, grabbed my bowls, turned around and there it was. A cute, fuzzy, brown, fat, and healthy – ZOMBIE mouse!

My first reaction was to scream and drop the bowls. I started screaming and clutching the bowls with my death clutch (there was no way I was going to lose the money for my parking meter). It took about three real seconds to come to the conclusion that I was in the house alone and no one could hear me. That’s when flashbacks set in as I knew this mouse was going to run right up my fake leg and I wouldn’t even feel it, it would kill and eat me alive in my very own basement and it would be an entire day before anyone found me there victimized and tragically obliterated.

Apparently the mouse had gotten into some poison because it was nodding off as it sat there, would stumble towards me a little, then stop and nod off some more. I didn’t know what to do! I had my fake leg on and that limits my running ability…and jumping ability. I was completely trapped in the corner between the mouse, my basement cabinets, and the pool table. I debated taking my leg off and throwing it at him, but it didn’t take me long to know that I could never again wear my $100,000 chunk of metal after it crushed a live mouse to death. I mean, what if the blood germs carried disease? It took about ten more seconds for my “flight” reaction to kick in as I scrambled on top of the pool table with my bowls, crutches and all to crawl to safety.

But was it really over? How could I rest in peace knowing there was a zombie mouse apocalypse happening right below my very dining room? How was I to function? How could I leave my precious Chihuahuas home when at any given moment this mouse could morph into my living room and latch onto them as a vampire would?

From the top of the steps with a broom and two crutches, I kept my eyes locked on the target. I was seriously going to deal with this. So I called my father. Now, any father that has ever had any doubt about being replaced by a husband and thus no longer important please rest assured. There WILL be that one day at 6 AM when you least expect the phone to ring that your daughter will be huddled in the stairwell fighting for her very life and need rescued while her husband is at work. Oh yes, it is true, my father had to come rescue me and “handle it”. To this day, as I am leery as I walk around outside knowing not where my father exactly “handled it”…

All that to say; I don’t know if it is the fact that I wouldn’t feel a mouse on my fake leg or that I couldn’t run from a mouse with my fake leg that has me petrified. Perhaps I’m just afraid of mice.

Subjected to Truth

Today I have discarded all of my notes and want to write from recent experience. Many of my friends and loved ones are going through very serious trials and tribulations. As I listen to them speak of these things in my mind I so clearly hear their heart crying out, “Why?! I just want this to be over!” This echoes in my own mind as I realize it is also my heart cry in so many different areas.

I want to provide a tool I have recently stumbled upon for looking at our circumstances and relationships. As many of you know this blog is not just about experiences and stories but about real life answers and tools that we can use everyday to relate to life in a healthy way. I believe that there often is a missing link in our church education system in regards to providing real life tools for breaking out of our former mindsets and truly embracing the freedom Jesus died to give us.

Perspective can be everything when we are struggling with something. Going back to remembering the three spheres of influence, Mine, God’s, Others helps us to realize that whenever we are stepping outside of our circle we feel stress, and when we feel stress it means we have a false belief.

Byron Katie wrote a book titled, “Loving What Is” that challenges this cry of our hearts in so many ways. She challenges us to look at any belief we have in our life and ask the question “Is this true, do I absolutely KNOW this is true?” She points out that if we learn to love what is simply because it is then we will find true freedom from the inside out.

“Behold, You desire truth in the inner being; make me therefore to know wisdom in my inmost heart.” Psalm 51: 6

Is this true? Do I absolutely KNOW this is true?

If we believe, “I just want this to be over” we need to ask ourselves, “Do we really know this is true?” How do we KNOW we want whatever we are facing to be over? How many times have we got to the end of something and then realized we wished we were back in the middle of it again? How do we KNOW that at the end of what we are facing we will be so much happier? Truthfully we cannot ever know these things and therefore we cannot know that we want to get out of our current circumstances.

Who would I be without this thought?

She then goes on to encourage us to inquire within, “Who would I be without this thought?” Who would you be without getting up every day and believing “I just want to be out of this circumstance?” Can you dare to imagine if every day you awoke believing that you are exactly where you are supposed to be right now and feeling good about that? Would your attitude change, would your day change? Would your stress level change? In her words,”Can you give me one stress free reason to hang on to this thought?”

Turn it around!

When you imagine life without that thought it becomes easier to take the next step in her process. The next step is to turn around the belief. So, “I just want this to be over” will turn around to “I don’t want to this to be over” or “I look forward to this not being over”. As you turn a belief around your mind process becomes open to the things that are positive about the situation you are in and begin to look at the circumstances without the stress and without the overwhelming sense of burden.

This process is a strongly recommended tool to use not just on circumstances but also on the relationships we are in. Her book is full of relationship examples where someone holds to a belief system about a relationship that really is locking them into that pattern. The idea is that what we see in others is only a mirror image of what we see in ourselves.

So if you hold to the belief that, “My husband is mean to me.” And you begin to inquire about this you will come to the conclusion after answering the questions and turning it around that if you believe your husband is mean to you then you feel you deserve to be treated this way or you treat yourself that way. You are mean to you. Reality is you cannot really know that your husband is mean to you. You cannot be inside of his head to know what he is thinking when he acts in ways that you perceive as “mean”. You cannot know that in his head he is deliberately being mean to you. But you can turn that around and realize that you are putting up with it and that is you being mean to yourself.

“Therefore, rejecting all falsity and being done now with it, let everyone express the truth with his neighbor, for we are all parts of one body and members one of another.” Ephesians 4: 25

Everything and everyone around us is our teacher. In the last example through the “mean husband” you were taught that the truth is that you are mean to yourself. Now, when you perceive your husband is “mean” to you things can be different as you choose to treat yourself kindly and respond in a way that is kind to yourself. (Whether being kind to yourself is removing yourself from the room, not receiving or believing the words used towards you, or simply not letting it get to you at all.)

When I first started to read this book I had such a hard time wrapping my head around the idea of the turnaround. Realizing that what I see others doing to me is actually how I see myself or treat myself and feel I deserve to be treated that way. We are programmed to blame shift and to see faults around us but not within us. It is so easy to become the victim and believe that others should change the way they treat us and have no part in it. But when we begin loving what is and learning more about ourselves and how we can treat ourselves with truth and life rather than false paradigms we experience freedom.

As of now I am just beginning this journey using the inquiry tool. It has only been about six months for me but I can attest to the fact that it truly is life changing. There is something refreshing when we realize that most of our negative thoughts we cannot REALLY know are true. Only God knows the truth, and when we begin to hold our thoughts and beliefs one at a time up to God as we inquire about them He can shine His light and we can let them go without allowing our beliefs to control and sometimes even ruin our lives.

“And you will know the Truth, and the Truth will set you free”. John 8: 32

Knowing Jesus and allowing all of our negative thoughts be held up to Him (the Truth) brings us into a place of true worship. There have been so many times that I have held up thoughts and beliefs to these questions of inquiry and realized that they are not necessarily true at all but simply burdening my mind and stressing me out. Every time I turn these beliefs around I feel so enlightened and it transports me into a place of worship and praise to Jesus who is the author and finisher of our faith! This place I believe is true freedom and truly working out my salvation as I renew my mind in Christ one thought at a time!

“Work hard to show the results of your salvation, obeying God with deep reverence and fear.” Philippians 2:12

Blessings to each of you as you inquire and bring your thoughts subject to Christ (the Truth). I pray you may find a new freedom using this tool as you are led by the Holy Spirit to love the Lord and the circumstances in which you find yourself. May you learn to love yourself in a new way as the reality of how you treat yourself comes to light. May you love others in an unburdened way as you are able to let go of accusations and perceptions regarding your relationships. Shalom!

*This writing is based on the works of Byron Katie and her recent book “Loving What Is”. This article is not meant to represent Byron Katie in any way and Crutchprints in the Sand is of no affiliation with her copyrighted book. Crutchprints in the Sand refers and writes about this book and tool in an opinionated way that does not reflect the views of the author.

Fire Restoration

This week is Holy Week and I wanted to reflect on our God, how big He is and how He orchestrated the greatest rescue by sending His son to save us!

Fire Restoration

A year after we were married we were living in the small one bedroom apartment I rented as a single woman. We were saving and preparing to purchase our first home. My husband was working second shift which would keep us rotating around the clock. One evening he came home after midnight and we finally got settled around 3 AM for bed. At 6 AM I awoke to a strange beeping noise and my dog whining. The room was filled with smoke and I couldn’t see more than six inches in front of me. I screamed and woke my husband who previously had been a firefighter. He instructed me to get low to the ground and get out of the house. Suddenly I realized that with crutches and one leg there really isn’t a way to crawl so I closed my eyes and made my way downstairs and outside the best way I could.

Once outside we called 911, the property owner (my father), and it was then that I realized my prosthetic leg was still inside the house. Prosthetic legs can cost anywhere from $50,000-$100,000 and insurance only covered mine at that point every few years. I panicked and begged my husband to maneuver through the door and get it out, which he did. The whole time was very scary for both my family that owned the house and for us. The electrical fire started on the side of the house we weren’t renting (which was vacated two weeks prior) and was on the other side of our bedroom wall.

After the fire company left we walked through the house to see what the damage looked like. Most of the damage on our side was from black smoke. As we walked through the damage and saw what had been happening within 20 feet of our bed as we slept we were astounded. The damage was horrifying. We walked up the stairs to see that the firefighters, unable to see, had to axe through different walls and rooms to find their way and be sure everyone was safe. On the other side of the wall where we slept they had axed through our bedroom wall and the piece that fell was a perfect cross. Up until this point I hadn’t realized how close we had been to losing our lives. When I saw the cross my eyes filled with tears as I realized that Jesus conquered the grave not only two thousand years ago, not only when I had cancer, not only when I was delivered from drugs, but right up to that moment in my life. God is so much bigger than I could ever have imagined.

The other side of our bedroom wall. The black smoke was coming through and within ten minutes we would have died in our sleep

The Fire Marshall explained to us that within another ten minutes of sleeping if we had not got up we would have died in our sleep without even knowing what was going on.

Thinking back I realized another thing that God caused to happen. When I had chemotherapy as a young child I lost my ability to hear high pitch frequencies such as birds and fire alarms. I can’t even tell you the number of times in my career that I would be oblivious and wondering why everyone was scrambling for their purses and coats only to be told there was a fire drill. For some reason that morning I heard the alarm beeping and the dog whining which alerted me to know what was happening around us.

God’s hand was in this. The other half of the house was vacated so no one was present, I was miraculously stirred and my ears opened, almost all of the damage we had was smoke damage, no one was hurt. We were displaced for a very trying and difficult month but even through this month God has His hand on us. The offer we made on a small house was approved. Paperwork breezed by and at the end of the month we stepped over the threshold of our very own home. The fire restoration company delivered all of our treated belongings to the new home and we didn’t even have to box or move anything! God came down in the midst of a tragedy and worked things together in a way that we were able to handle what was set before us and enlarge our “tent” in a spiritual and physical sense.

When Jesus died on the cross He paid the price for so much more than we realize. Each of these moments were gifts from heaven. We take for granted that we are saved, but when we really stop to think and count the little things that because of His sacrifice God blesses us with each and every day we can become overwhelmed quickly. Because of the sacrifice Jesus made for us we don’t simply have acceptance with God, we have the favor of God.

After the fire my mindset shifted about life. I do not have control over it at all. Only God can determine the length of my life and only I can determine to hand over the reins to Him. Since that day it has been confirmed to me on a new level that God has a plan for my life and that the work I am here to accomplish is far from complete. While I am just beginning to realize the beginning of this purpose I no longer stress or worry about it because now I KNOW beyond a shadow of doubt that He is in control.

This little guy was hatching and also made it out of the fire alive

A little while ago I dreamt I was in worship and there was this beautiful song from heaven that we were singing. When I woke up I remembered the words of the upbeat chorus:

“Every day I live – I will worship

Every day I breathe – I’ll find time to break

Every day that’s new – I will give to you

For NOTHING is too big,

NOTHING is too big,

For MY GOD!”

Realizing that because of Jesus God chooses not just to protect us, guide us, work all things together for good but to also lavishly give us abundant life because we choose to accept and walk with Him. When others speak of “winks from God” in their daily life I now smile to myself and feel the warmth of knowing how God rescued me from so many things and cares even right down to the tiniest detail.

The day after the fire. Thankful for our lives.

For every little blessing that God gives to me, every tragedy He turns out to work for the best, every miraculous moment that I experience I will praise Him for! For nothing is too big for My God!

Drowning Out the Noise with Stillness

Drowning Out the Noise with Stillness

“Let be and be still, and know (recognize and understand) that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations! I will be exalted in the earth!” Psalm 46:10 AMP

There is a lost art of “being still” that I believe we need to practice and understand more than ever. My grandmother used to explain to me that if a person can sit in a silent room and be completely content without the need to add something (tv, radio, etc.) then they are truly happy. While I am not attempting to draw such a line in the sand as her statement implies I must say that lately it has been on impressed more than ever on my heart the need for quiet and being still.

The dawning of this reality has come to me in the form of children. When taking two children fishing for the very first time a few years ago we realized that almost as soon as their line was in the water they were completely bored and began begging to leave. In their minds, fishing should be as simple and exciting as a video game or playing with an iPod, iPad, etc. I became so sad when I realized that kids today are so overwhelmed with activity and noise that there really is no “file” in their brain for “quiet” or “stillness”. Since that experience I have observed countless children and adults with this precept in the back of my mind. Disappointingly, I have found in almost every case that busyness is not only acceptable but promoted by adults immersed in technology to the point of reducing stillness to near extinction.

So why do we do this? Why do we feel it is necessary to have every moment of the day jam- packed with activities, errands, and noise? We work so hard and buy technology thinking it will make our lives easier and then we turn around and fill that little bit of saved time with more activities and busyness. Could it be a heart issue and not a culture issue? Could it be that many of the behavior problems, stress problems, and general population discord are caused by our minds being shifted into a state of overdrive and overwhelm with everything going on around us?

We are always saying to one another, “time flies, I just can’t believe how fast time flies!” Time itself isn’t speeding up with any noticeable difference to our human minds. Yet each year really does seem to be over faster than the last. It grieves me when I realize that time only seems to move faster when we are not actually living in the moment. (If you care to test this theory turn off every bit of noise except your watch and be still for ten minutes. You will see that ten minutes of peace and quiet and being “in the present moment” seems a lot longer than ten minutes of running around busy cleaning with the television and radio playing in the background.) I wonder how much time I have lost in my lifetime by being busy and not enjoying the present that I am currently operating in? How many memories are a blur to us because after arriving at one destination my mind is already forging into the next?

During one of our small group meetings recently we were discussing our lives and possible distractions to keeping God as the number one priority. One of our members began to speak about busyness and how busyness is almost a competition among parents, friends, and even Christians doing the “good work” of Jesus. This discussion led to a non-hesitant agreement among the group about what a battle it really is to maintain a clear schedule and keep ourselves and our families regulated in a place of peace and contentment at home.

Recently I have sat in on the training for “Godly Play” which is a program for children’s worship invented by Episcopal priest, author, and teacher Jerome Berryman. When I realized the depth of this program I was both stunned and excited as I became aware of the treasure that lies within. The program is geared around the idea of worship and quiet time to become more fully aware of the mystery of God’s presence in our lives. The children in the program are presented with a story by a storyteller that is also immersed in the story him/herself (instead of looking at the children and teaching them they are using props and acting out the story as if they too are learning). Afterwards the children are given an opportunity to respond in a creative way individually (artwork, blocks, puzzles, etc.). When I first sat in on this program I found it difficult to stay regulated and calm and quiet for the entire half hour! But as I have continued training and watching children that have been introduced to the program around the same time that I was I have noticed a visible difference in all of us. We enter the program with quiet anticipation of hearing from God, responding to God, and resting our bodies in stillness. Each week our bodies and minds become a little more accustomed to being still.

In The Screwtape Letters, by C.S. Lewes, Screwtape (one demon training another to mislead his new Christian assignment) advises:

“As long as they’re volunteering anyway, an especially useful tactic is to keep them busy. Really busy. It’s not hard to do, because they like to think the more work they do, the more spiritual they are. They help us out in this by using guilt to get others to volunteer, and some people will respond by volunteering without thinking it through. It’s also easy for us because humans these days like to cram as many activities and responsibilities into their day as possible.”

Bringing peace into our lives by wisely choosing activities and involvement is wisdom. Seeking God about the volunteer opportunities we are called to partake in rather than taking on anything we can cram in is one way to choose peace and stillness. Other small ways to eliminate or bring noise to a minimum can also be form of warfare. Graham Cooke often says, “Rest is a weapon against the enemy. He cannot penetrate your peace.” Bringing our minds and bodies to a place of rest is choosing to operate in the peace that God has already given us.

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” John 14:27

This verse is clear that Jesus left us with the Peace brought by the Holy Spirit. We must choose to operate in that peace and not “let” our hearts be troubled. Subconsciously, noise affects us and our bodies. If we are tense, stressed, and exasperated we should pull back and look at the noise level in our lives over the past several days. It truly is the little things in our life that create big waves of difference.

Realistically we cannot always have a quiet home or block off hours of quiet time to receive from the Lord. But if we make a mental note to bring the noise that we can control to a minimum there will be a permanent difference in our relationships, responses, and stress/energy levels. For me, stillness brings intimacy with God that I have not experienced anywhere else. When I am out in the working in the garden and listening to the beauty of nature and noticing the colors around me I feel freely connected to God with no hindrances. When I am in the car and choose to turn off the radio and be in the moment listening to the drone of the engine, the pavement beneath the car, and feel the sunshine through the glass, I think of Jesus. Bringing peace into our lives in the small ways by choosing to eliminate or bring noise to a minimum will be one of the greatest forms of warfare.

“We cannot fully realize true intimacy with God until we learn how to come before Him in quietness of spirit, mind, and body. An atmosphere of stillness is absolutely essential for us if we wish to experience deep, loving communion with our Lord. David the psalmist wrote, ‘My soul waits in silence for God only.’ The prophet Habakkuk proclaimed, ‘But the Lord is in His holy temple. Let all the earth be silent before Him.’ When Elijah listened for the counsel of God, he heard the Lord not in the wind, the earthquake or the fire, but in a ‘still small voice.’….Quietness is a time-honored and proven method of prayer and fellowship with God that is almost totally ignored by modern-day Christians. Learning to be quiet before the Lord is one of the greatest challenges we face today in our quest to enter in and experience true intimacy with Him.”

James Goll in The Lost Art of Practicing His Presence

Often I am approached by others asking what they can do to hear the voice of God more clearly. One person said to me, “I ask God things all the time but I never get answers. What can I do?” My simple and only response for this person was, “Do you wait for an answer?” It is so easy to spout off our prayers to our Father and bounce straight into the next part of our day. But just as we check our emails and wait for responses, our telephones for voicemails, our Facebook for updates we should be checking back in with God so that He can share with us as well. When I have friends over I turn down the radio, turn off the television, and listen to them. In doing this I am not merely being respectful I am making a way for us to connect, converse, and build relationship. I think it would be a great privilege to be called a “Friend of God” just as Abraham was. (James 2:23)

I challenge you to dissect your daily routine for ways to create an atmosphere and lifestyle of stillness. Be a true friend of God. Choose quiet and peace because in doing so you are choosing true intimacy.

In his book “Prayers From the Heart”, Richard Foster offers a Prayer For Quiet:

“I have, O Lord, a noisy heart. And entering outward silence doesn’t stop the inner clamor. In fact, it seems only to make it worse. When I am full of activity, the internal noise is only a distant rumble; but when I get still, the rumble amplifies itself. And it is not like the majestic sound of a symphony rising to a grand crescendo; rather, it is the deafening din of clashing pots and clanging pans. What a racket! Worst of all, I feel helpless to hush the interior pandemonium. Dear Lord Jesus, you once spoke peace to the wind and the waves. Speak Your shalom over my heart. I wait silently…patiently. I receive into the very core of my being Your loving command, ‘Peace, be still.’ Amen.”

Further Resource Suggestions:

Young Children and Worship – Sonja M. Stewart, Jerome Berryman

The Lost Art of Practicing His Presence – James Goll

The Practice of the Presence of God – Brother Lawrence

Loving What Is – Byron Katie

Crafted Prayer – Graham Cooke

Heavenly Mindset in an Earthly Realm

At the beginning of the year I wrote in my journal something that I felt the Lord was revealing to me about my personal life this year. I wrote: “This is the year for shaking. 2013 was a year for growing roots but 2014 is shaking and strengthening these roots….Your roots are not complete yet! They will continue to grow as you take to heart the seriousness and importance of the shaking around you. Respect me but do not fear. I am around you and my Spirit is within you! Be a fragrance, be a light. One word: intimacy.”

As we move into the month of March I have seen a lot of shaking happening around me. I have also been so thankful that the Lord has been my anchor in and through every one of these trials because through Him my roots have continued to push through the dry soil and strive into the presence of deep and true living water to replenish my soul. The refreshing water of the word has not only given me comfort but has allowed me to be of comfort to others. Throughout the past three months I have learned that in any situation there is only one valid question to be asked: What is God’s perspective on this?

“Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.” Psalms 119:105

Our thoughts are formed like trees according to human brain researcher Dr. Caroline Leaf. Every thought in our brain looks like a tree at the molecular level and as the thought develops proteins begin to form around the thought and create the structure of the tree. Scientists have proven that our brains are wired to receive and build on healthy thoughts because as we meditate on healthy thoughts the proteins build around them and then transfer into our bodies through chemical reactions, hormonal releases, electrical circuits, and eventually actions. Whether we have good or bad thoughts our brains continue to wire these thoughts and build proteins around them which constantly change the chemical makeup of our brain. Likewise, toxic thoughts that are built into a structure in our brain will eventually cause problems to us physically as Dr. Leaf explains “Nearly 95% of physical, emotional, and behavior problems today come from our thought life.”

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” Philippians 4:8

As we choose to seek God for His perspective on our lives and situations we face we are choosing to build healthy “trees” in our minds that will eventually become so lush and strong that toxic thoughts and trees will wither away. I believe the key to knowing God’s perspective on things comes from intimacy and relationship with Him. Being sensitive to what we are thinking, praying, and speaking is birthed from closeness to the presence of God.

“Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.And God said, ‘Let there be light,’ and there was light.” Genesis 1:2-3

The same spirit that hovered over the waters and responded to the words of our Father in heaven resides within us. Through salvation in Jesus we allow His spirit to hover over our lives and our situations and every shaking that we may face. Notice first the Spirit hovered and afterward God spoke. I believe this verse applies to us and our prayer life as well. The Spirit of God will hover over us and reveal to us what is right and what is to be spoken into our situations. Speaking light into our lives is partnering with Christ because He is the light of the world. When we speak light into our lives we are speaking the name of Jesus.

“I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” John 8:12

David Herzog writes in Mysteries of the Glory Unveiled, “When the presence of God is hovering over you in a given place, and you hear his voice saying something……you must speak those words out. Learn to do it spontaneously as He is saying it, and when you do, creative miracles will begin to manifest themselves.” Our God is a creator and even today in our lives He works to create miracles all around us. He creates miracles of blessing, favor, wisdom, paths of outreach, healing, provision, guidance and comfort, and much more! It is up to us to speak the things we feel the Lord saying into the situations around us and into our lives.

“He (Jesus) was given authority, glory and sovereign power; all nations and peoples of every language worshiped him. His dominion is an everlasting dominion that will not pass away, and his kingdom is one that will never be destroyed.” Daniel 7:14

Joyce Meyers’ discusses applying the word of God as a medicine. She explains that when we have a headache smearing an ibuprofen on our heads will not help it one bit. We have to by mouth internally take and digest the ibuprofen for it to cure our headache. Joyce believes that applying the word of God as medicine daily in our lives is one of the strongest ways to boost and push us towards healing and wholeness both internally and externally. I couldn’t agree more!

When I am faced with a shaking I have begun to find scriptures that relate to the situation. I seek the Lord and His word and when I find the applicable scriptures and compile them I pray and speak them directly into whatever situation I am facing. If I am interceding for a friend I will often find a verse or scripture that relates to that person and pray that specific verse over their life as well.

“But he answered, ‘It is written, ’Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.’” Matthew 4:4

Pressing in and learning to be still and wait on the Lord to give us His perspective is a discipline and a challenge that most of us tend to bypass on the first shot. We want fast prayers and fast answers so that we can move on with our lives. Then as an after-thought we wonder why our prayers are not being answered and why we seem to shoot a thousand arrows into heaven with only a few hitting the mark. This was not God’s design for us. We are created to press in and allow His spirit to hover over us so that we can then speak the light of Jesus and His perspective in a prayer that will hit the mark every time. The circumstances we are in are perfectly designed to bring us closer to Jesus and more Christ-like in character! Sometimes we don’t need fast answers; sometimes we need the process!

“How do we listen in on that conversation in Heaven? First, we enter God’s presence with thanksgiving. Then we still ourselves, finding rest in that secret place He has set aside for us. God will reveal Himself to us in a number of ways. We have the scripture because it tells us what the heart and mind of God is in certain situations. It’s like a heavenly cheat sheet…..We use prayer to pray the will of God, and that brings us into a place of faith and proclamations. We grow in confidence in the will of God, as our prayers change us to be more like Him. We have decided to follow the process that God has ordained in the circumstances He has allowed to unfold.”

Graham Cooke in Crafted Prayer

While I am convinced there is no set formula for intimacy with Jesus, I know that my time seeking His will in my life has brought me to a place of closeness with Him that I have never before experienced on this earth. It doesn’t always look like a silent room with me on my knees in prayer but often takes the form of everyday activities. His perspective will come to me during every day “aha moments” such as exercise, cooking supper, cleaning the house, speaking with a friend, meditating on scripture.

I challenge you to take a look at the things you are facing today. Look closely at the shaking that is in your life or the life of someone around you. Look at the shaking that is in your church, town, state, country, or our world. Ask Jesus what His perspective is and what piece you have been called to pray about. Compile scriptures, press in to the Light of the World, and pray with confidence. After all, Jesus is the one that said, “the Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son also does.” (John 5:19) Let us also be imitators of Christ! (1 Thessalonians 2:14)

Preparing our Nets for Harvest

Preparing our Nets for Harvest

Recently I was invited by my friend Madison Brown to Elizabethtown College where she is a senior. She took my husband and me to a quaint coffee house in the downtown district that was so comfortable, casual, and wonderful that I felt as if I were stepping onto the 90’s screen set of Friends. I even looked around for Joey or Phoebe before realizing that I was in real life and with real friends! As Madison, Rick (my husband), and myself sat munching on vegetable chili, hot chocolate, and turkey sandwiches Madison shared what has been on her heart with us.

Growing up at a local church that was going through a split Madison found herself more than a little tossed about by the waves of hurt, tension, and abandonment that so often happen during these unfortunate events. Some of the same people that had been such strong and Godly examples in her life up until the split suddenly refused to acknowledge her or even share with her when she encountered them in public.

She was reflecting on this experience and processing the healing that God has done in her heart since this has happened. In the grand scheme of things she ventured out to ask an even deeper question: We pray for Revival but how can we expect this to happen without looking inside of ourselves and becoming the people we claim we want to be?

As the three of us discussed this question and the possible answers we were able to share in a place of vulnerability that you only see in the midst of God’s presence. Madison explained how in processing her hurt she decided that she was going to be spurred towards Christ-likeness. She determined to always think outside of herself and respond to those around her in love. She has grown into a woman that seeks to live the life in Christ that she longed to see in those around her as a child.

She explained that she heard a sermon preached once about a child that was at a wave pool in an amusement park. The child began to drown but all of the adults in the area were focused on themselves and whatever they were doing (socializing, sunbathing, reading) and no one realized the child was dying in the wave pool. This picture paralleled to the body of Christ and how often we are so focused on ourselves that we miss the bigger picture and the fact that there are very real people around us “drowning in waves” without the touch of God that we have been given the power to provide.

Perhaps it is time to look at some of the wounds we have received inside and outside of the body of Christ and decide we need to move on. Forgiving others, determining to become Christ-like ourselves, and actively pursuing our purpose in the Body of Christ may be the very key to a revival or fresh encounter in our country.

“So often we take ownership of the wrongs that are done to us,” Madison says, “but when we separate ourselves from them and realize we all make mistakes it is easier to get over it.” While our bad feelings may take time to go away, voicing our forgiveness to God and realizing that we too have been forgiven for much is step one to receiving the healing that our heart is crying out for. Once we have forgiven, we have to look at our lives and decide there will be “no wasted pain”. Learn from the hurt and allow Jesus show you areas in your life that you may be susceptible to hurt others in the same way. Through surrender you can become the person to bless those that need it the most.

Reflection comes before revival. Setting our hearts right in forgiveness and extending love to others will always precede any move of God. Rick Joyner in The Harvest writes, “It is by beholding His glory that we are changed into His image, which is the image the church is called to bear.” It is time that as a church we begin to reflect who Christ is and become the example of true love that the world is longing to see.

Madison believes that beyond forgiving we also need to be sensitive to our own actions and to who may be watching us from a distance. “It should be our hearts desire,” Madison writes, “to be intentional in our actions so that we don’t push someone away from the love of Christ.” Looking beyond our own hurts and realizing that we too may have hurt others can be a difficult thing to face. As we behold Christ we will reconcile our lives in a way that draws others to us (and therefore Christ) rather than creating a division.

I believe that God did not leave very specific instructions about the way His church was to be set up doctrinally for a reason. While the fundamentals generally are the same across denominations there are small differences in roles, offices, and specific presentations. Each is good for us and for where we are located in the body of Christ. While one church may be the finger of the body, another may be an elbow. I certainly hope my finger functions differently than my elbow! Both are good, both are my body, both are different. When Jesus returns I believe all of these minimal differences will fall by the wayside in light of His glory. We will no longer see these small differences because we will see how we come together in one larger body.

Where is your place in the body of Christ? What is your purpose? It is reported from surveys done at Christian conferences by MorningStar Ministries that fewer than 5% of all Christians know their purpose in the body of Christ. This shows how our body is not equipped for the task at hand. How can a body function if each part does not know its own purpose? How can our nets hold the masses of fish that are to be coming into them if we are not united and flowing together in love and discipline allowing each part to function the way he/she was created to and not the way we think they should?

Rick Joyner goes on in The Harvest to write, “One of the reasons so many Christians are ‘tossed here and there by waves’ is because they are not set in a body or connected as they should be. One cannot be set in the body rightly if they do not know their part and are not functioning as that part…..our teacher referred to the present church as being like living stones that were just piled up here and there instead of having been built together into the temple we are called to be. One can easily steal a stone off of a pile of stones, but once it has been cemented into its place in the temple it will not be easily removed.

Because we were called before the foundation of the world with our purpose, to not be able to function in that purpose breeds a certain frustration and discontent that has in fact been the real reason for much of the discord in local churches, and even many church splits….people would not be so upset about many petty things if they were not so generally frustrated by not knowing their purpose and not being able to function in it.”

Based on what he has written I came to realize that just now, after nearly 30 years of life, am I starting to walk in my calling in the body of Christ. And now that I am even in my baby steps of functioning in this purpose I feel a contentment that I never felt before! Suddenly everything else has fallen in my eyes and instead of seeing what is done wrong I see what He is doing right in our midst!

Jesus says in Matthew 24:44 “And whoever falls on this Stone will be broken to pieces, but he on whom It falls will be crushed to powder [and It will winnow him, scattering him like dust].”

To fall on the stone and be broken, allowing God to search our heart so we can forgive, find our purpose in the body of Christ, and prepare our nets for harvesting is the first step. To be fishers of men our nets will need to be strong. As many of you know the greatest level of hurt can happen within the four walls of the church. I believe it is because the hurts received by fellow believers wounds our spirits directly and not just our minds. It is critical that we are all lined up and performing in our places so that when others more wounded than we can even imagine come to us there is a place free from discord and tension. The church is to be a safe place not just because of the presence of God but because of the people that represent Him there!

It is time to be bold and rise up to be who we were created to be. Allow healing to flow as you march forward. God desires for you to be healed. God desires for you to bring healing to others. As always, this journey will start on the inside.

Reflect.

Forgive.

Find your purpose.

Prepare the nets.

Receive Harvest.

My Kind of Love

My Kind of Love

I have noticed over the past five years of marriage that a lot of people give my husband credit for putting up with a wife that has a disability. There is always an undertone when people speak of my marriage. They say things like, “He really is a good man to overlook everything.” Or “Well, if he doesn’t mind that you don’t have a leg I guess its no one else’s business”, and my personal favorite and most frequently heard, “I’m glad you were able to find someone that could love you for you and not for what you look like.”

These comments can be said with good intentions but sadly they are also very hurtful. The existing presuppositions always point to me not being worth enough. It saddens me in so many ways to see that our society places so much value in ability. The rule of thumb in society seems to be: Our worth is in our ability and physical looks.

When I met my husband I wasn’t looking for anyone to share my life with. I had been through dating several men and most of those scenarios ended disastrously for me. My career was going well working as a contractor for DuPont in Wilmington, DE. I had my own apartment, money, and everything else a single woman could ask for. I had finally become happy with my life and made the most of every day.

A week before Rick and I started dating.

When Rick and I started dating we stayed together because we complimented one another. Both of our lives were enriched because we were together. He was in a very difficult place with his family and his finances when we met and together we started making goals for improving his life. We both had a future in mind and goals in our hearts that we were working towards separately. After dating for a few weeks we began to realize how these goals were alike and how well we connected talking about our dreams and plans for the future. As we encouraged each other we realized that our dreams were really intertwined as one dream. While pushing one another towards greatness we had really pushed ourselves together in love.

For us, we fell in love so strongly that we knew we were meant to be together. Within three weeks of dating we discussed love, marriage, and a future. Our feelings for one another were so strong that there was no denying it was meant to be. After hearing so many say “when you meet the right one you will know” I can finally confirm the degree of truth in this. Yet the path forward wasn’t all peaches and cream because we both had wounding in our hearts from the past.

It was Fern, from Discovering MErcy, who spoke directly to the insecurities in my heart. She explained that every person on earth has the potential to hurt us at some point. She explained that putting our trust in people (including a future spouse) is not God’s design. God’s design is that we place our trust in Him! When my heart is in God’s hands He is responsible for what happens to me and for helping me clean up any wounds, breaks, or bangs that may come along the way. I may be disabled but as long as my belief is in Him who is able then I am free to love the man in front of me transparently.

“Listen to this wise advice; follow it closely, for it will do you good, and you can pass it on to others: Trust in the Lord.” Proverbs 22:17-19

“I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him until that day.” 2 Timothy 1:12

Through this I realized that love was not about my ability or Rick’s ability to meet my needs. Love stands alone as it seeks only the heart of another. The world falsely manipulates us into believing that love must be tied into physical looks and physical strength. But from my experience it is so much easier to allow God to be your strength and determine that you will complement your spouse’s life with love and not take from it with your own needs.

I really do not like the way that our society judges couples and seeks out “which is stronger” in relationships. We often hear in our circles, “How did he land that beautiful woman?”, or “I just can’t see why she stays with him she could do much better!” But all we are doing when we entertain these words is placing a measuring tape of ability and holding others up to it for judgment. Oh how I wish that we could do away with this tape of measurement altogether. Why must someone be weak and someone be strong? Why must one be more attractive than their partner? Why must someone be able and someone disabled? Marriage is about love not about ability. Life is about love and not ability.

Because of my love for the beach prior to having my amputation I still mustered the courage to be married on one!

Going to the beach is one of the greatest struggles that I face because of these standards our society boasts. The beach has always been one of my favorite places but I cannot say since being an amputee at the age of four that there have been many carefree memories spent there. As a married woman I long to have my husband be able to consider me a “trophy wife” and have a wife on his arm that others look at and nod in approval. Instead, when we go to the beach and I look around I see that others will stop walking to stare, point, and grab the attention of their peers to objectify me when they see me in my bathing suit. Being an amputee, in order to get in the water I have to walk down to the water with my crutches and get into the water to sit while my husband takes my crutches back to the blanket. While I wait for him to come back people stare in wonder, amusement and sometimes even shaking their head with disapproval.

But time and again as I sit there in the water waiting for my husband to return (with my heart pounding in my ears and my body trembling with embarrassment) I look up apologetically at his face only to be amazed. Rick’s crystal blue eyes always seem so oblivious to what is happening around us! He stares at me with sparkling eyes and a huge smile as he excitedly says, “Ready to swim?!” He is so focused on the love that we share together that he doesn’t even see the others or the faults in my figure that they see!

Once I asked him about this in exasperation and tears. I demanded to know why he is never affected by those around us when he must see how blatantly ugly I really am through their actions towards me. He replied simply, “Oh, well, they don’t know you. They don’t see how beautiful you really are that far away.” Rick sees love as it stands alone. He sees beauty from the eyes of our Father in heaven. He does not see ability as a measure of standard.

“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” Proverbs 31:30

Raising my glass (of water!) to courage!

“Where there is a will there is a way” has been pounded into our heads since grade school. But do we really believe it? There is a way to accomplish any task and I believe that the way it gets done doesn’t interfere with love one bit. Yes, there are times when Rick will do things to help me physically because he loves me. But he certainly doesn’t love me any less if I do them myself in a different way than another woman would!

As we creep up on our sixth year together I am delighted to say that our love is more real now than it was when we were married! Time has slowly purged a lot of the negative standards of society from my mind as I embrace and receive the love that is before me. Love takes on an entire new dimension when we look beyond the surface and see the heart of an individual. Who is to judge what that journey should look like? Every journey is unique and every journey is beautiful.

Looking at your own relationship with your spouse do you see love alone? Do you see how you were brought together to complement one another and add to each other? Do you see strengths and weaknesses, dos and don’ts, beauty and ugliness? Make a commitment to shatter this false belief today.

Focus on love as it stands alone; all the rest will fade into oblivion.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Attitude of Lack – Removing the Belief System

Our words have power and our beliefs have power over our lives. The bible is clear about this: “The tongue has the power of life and death…” Proverbs 18:21 and “For as he thinks in his heart, so he is.” Proverbs 23:7

Recently someone prayed over my husband and I about living in God’s abundance and not receiving a spirit (or attitude) of lack. While we by no means have a bottomless bank account I never think of us as being in lack. Our bills are paid, the refrigerator and freezer are full, the temperature has been in the single digits and our house is cozy and full of warmth. This is the abundant life that God has given to us! Yet when this was prayed over us I felt the Lord shoot a small arrow of conviction into my heart. This caused me to spend some time praying and seeking Him about an attitude of lack. As I asked God to search my heart in this area the results were surprising.

“You have searched me, Lord, and you know me.” Psalm 139:1

The bible says that he who hates his brother or sister has already committed murder in his heart. (1 John 3:15) This demonstrates to us that sin is sin in God’s eyes and none of it can stand in light of His holiness. It also sheds light on the idea of principles. The principle rather than “do not murder” is “do not hate” because out of hate other sins stem such as murder.

While on the outside I do not see any way that I have invited or opened the door for my heart to be twisted by an attitude of poverty and lack, I began asking the Lord to search my heart for any beliefs that would open the door to greater problems of lack down the road. A small belief of lack in my mind now could result in bitterness, separation from God, idolatry, suffering, even poverty in the future. As I studied the topic and spent time on my knee (not yet plural!), God was gracious enough to shine the truth on my heart so that transformation could begin within.

Lack

“When you have eaten and are satisfied, praise the Lord your God for the good land he has given you.” Deuteronomy 8:10

Lack is defined through several phrases in the dictionary. It is described as “missing something” and being “deficient in” something. When there is absence of something needed, desirable, or customary we consider ourselves in lack. Lastly, Dictionary.com describes lack as: To fall short in respect of.

Lynne Twist in her book The Soul of Money writes:

“For me, and for many of us, our first waking thought of the day is ‘I didn’t get enough sleep.’ The next tone is ‘I don’t have enough time.’ Whether true or not, that thought of not enough occurs to us automatically before we even think to question or examine it. We spend most of the hours and the days of our lives hearing, explaining, complaining, or worrying about what we don’t have enough of….Before we even sit up in bed, before our feet touch the floor, we’re already inadequate, already behind, already losing, already lacking something.”

“ Scarcity is the ‘never enough’ problem. The word scarce is from the Old Norman French scars, meaning ‘restricted in quantity’ (c.1300). Scarcity thrives in a culture where everyone is hyperaware of lack. Everything from safety and love to money and resources feels restricted or lacking. We spend inordinate amounts of time calculating how much we have, want and don’t have, and how much everyone else has, needs and wants.” (Brene Brown in Daring Greatly) Throughout this book she goes on to state how shame for not “having enough” is heaped on us and heaped on others by us through comparisons and many other forms.

Worry

One way in which I have invited an attitude of lack into my life is by worrying. Whenever I worry I am in parallel with the principle idea saying: “God is not in control of this, He is falling short in respect of…, there is something I need that I am not getting from God.” As I began to think of the different ways in my life that I worry and think about things in a worrisome state I realized that through worry and not acknowledging God’s control of those areas I had invited the idea of scarcity into my life.

“²⁴Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! ²⁵Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life^[a]? ²⁶Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?” Luke 12:24-26

When I would worry about my husband driving tractor and trailer I was essentially saying, “God you are not enough to take care of my husband as he drives”. When I would worry about the fact that we do not have our own children yet I was saying, “God is not providing something desirable to me, I am without and He doesn’t care”. On days that I had been frustrated with having one leg and began to worry about not being able to take care of myself I invited lack into my life by thinking: “God isn’t going to take care of me, He may not give me what I need.” All of these are very simple examples of ways that we can invite a heart attitude of lack into our lives.

“Grace and peace be yours in abundance through the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord.” 2 Peter 1:2

As we give up the reins and allow Jesus to reign on the throne we can surrender our worrying and accept the peace and the grace freely given to us. It is time for us to confront the fact that God is in control and we must trust Him with our concerns and not enter into suffering through worry.

Scarcity

As I began to lie all of these things at the foot of the cross I felt the Holy Spirit telling me there was more. That night I had a dream: I was in my home and we had company. In my dream I was telling the people everything wrong with the house and telling them that “we don’t have what we need here” and in response the people in my home were telling me what they needed in their life as well. As I was speaking this in my dream I remembered that there was an entire suitcase of money in my dining room. I remembered this but because I was scared that I would need all of that money for myself I simply continued agreeing with the company about the lack all around us. Suddenly I felt I needed to stop agreeing and start saying out loud, “HE IS ENOUGH, HE IS ENOUGH, JESUS IS ENOUGH!” in my dream and as I did this the entire conversation in the room shifted and changed as people began joining in praise about the things that we DID have to work with.

When I awoke I prayed about this dream and felt so strongly that the Lord was revealing to me the next area of my life that I had invited lack. Whenever we agree with an attitude or voice that we “do not have enough” we empowering this belief system. How many times do we voice to others or say, “If I only had X I could… (Complete this project, get this job, make this money, give to others, quit this addiction, etc.)” ?

This belief system is inviting a spirit of lack into our lives! Whenever we agree with negative and scarcity thinking that we do not have enough in our lives we are agreeing with the Father of Lies (Satan) and inviting the lie that there is not enough and God is not in control. We are agreeing in shame that we are not worth God’s provision.

“Then he said to them, “Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; life does not consist in an abundance of possessions.” Luke 12:15

The truth is everything we have is everything we need. It may not be what we want but God has given us what we need. Do you feel like we should bless someone with money? Give it whether you feel like you need that money in your pocket or not. God will bless you with replacement! No matter how little we have in materials we can still live in abundance.

When training me to help in Children’s Worship Jessica Hostetler told me that the leaders consider snack time a “feast” and refer to it as such to the children. Even though it may only be one handful of goldfish or pretzels per child, she explained, it is not about how much they have it is about the fellowship around them that makes it a feast. To me, this demonstrates abundant living in its fullest. Whatever you have around you right now you can live abundantly with. Begin to look with your spiritual eyes and allow the renewing of your mind in truth!

Chaos, Control, Codependence

Last I was shown another way in which I had invited an attitude of lack and scarcity into my life. In one of my other posts I discuss the three circles in life (Ours, God’s, Other’s) and how any time we reach out of our own circle we are inviting chaos/codependence and are out of line.

https://crutchprints.com/2013/12/10/chaos-free-circles-operating-from-a-place-of-peace/

The Lord began to show me that when I try to control others by correcting or admonishing, changing people, or changing situations that are not in my jurisdiction to change I am inviting an attitude of lack. Not only am I out of line but I am empowering this belief through my own attempt to control something (or someone): “God you cannot change that person/situation I must change them/it.”

Do you have problems with your children? Don’t try to operate out of threat and fear because you are stepping out of your circle of jurisdiction to manipulate. Learn the ways of LOVE! (Bryan Post has excellent love-based discipline if you aren’t familiar.) Is your husband driving you nuts with something he does? Nagging will not help, dishonoring him to others will not help, and trying to change him will not help. Is someone you love going down a bad path of addiction and you feel it must stop? Becoming codependent and heaping guilt on them will not achieve your goal and if it does the result will be short lived. All of these situations are in God’s hands and only God can change the hearts of others! He may use us to influence in love but any time we step out of our “circle” we are inviting lack into our life.

You see, others do not exist to fill the needs within us. And we all have needs, we were created with needs of intimacy and relationship. But our children do not exist to make our lives run smoothly. Our spouses do not exist to keep us from feeling lonely. Only Jesus can fill the needs within us. Our children, our friends, our family, our spouses will never be enough to meet our needs in this fallen world. Of course God may use them in His way to meet needs for us but the source of our provision must be Jesus.

Wrong person on the throne!

Keep God on the Throne

“Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” James 1:5

It is so very important for us to keep God on the throne of our lives. To remember that we are mere stewards of all we are given and honoring God and His word accordingly is true respect. Remember, lack can be thought of as “something missing in respect of”. With the price Jesus paid on the cross there is nothing missing in respect of abundant living. There is no lack and there is nothing that we need being withheld from us.

Pray forth the things which we are called to ask for. Speak the good things into our lives and remember that what we have right now is enough for the task on hand.

“Those who guard their lips preserve their lives, but those who speak rashly will come to ruin.” Proverbs 13:3

No matter what we have or what we need our trust is in Jesus. Jesus is enough. His sacrifice on the cross was enough. He sits at the right hand of the Father in Heaven and brings provision to us, change to those around us, peace within us. Let’s shatter these false beliefs in our minds so we accept His provisions today and live in abundance. After all, HE IS ENOUGH!

“I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows).” John 10:10

Consequences of Having One Foot in the Grave

My Great Grandfather Burke who lost both of his legs above knee in a railroad incident. He farmed 40 acres despite his amuptations — My Great Grandfather Burke who lost both of his legs above knee in a railroad incident. He farmed 40 acres despite his amputations

When my leg was removed as a child my parents decided to purchase a grave plot and have it buried. Their reasons were modest enough and I am honored that they took my amputation so seriously. Still, I remember the awkward moment as a child standing before my grave plaque and trying to make the connection in my brain between my very much alive body and the very creepy grave plot which contained my very dead and amputated leg.

Of course, as an adult the idea of coining the phrase “one foot in the grave” has its appeal. There remains however the dilemma of where I will be buried when I do pass on from this world. Naturally, I would like to be buried near my husband. Meanwhile the majority of my family is buried in a different graveyard that is local and I have thought about how nice it would be to lie there. At not even thirty years old I shouldn’t be putting this much thought into my death! Yet, the fact remains I have one foot in the grave and I need to figure this out at some point.

Do I buy the plot next to my leg so that my husband and I can be together and I can be buried with my leg? Or do I somehow set money aside and leave directions in my will to have my leg dug back up and moved to wherever I am buried? Let’s be honest, who would want that job of digging up a dead person’s body part and what would they think of me? Isn’t the whole point of dying leaving a good legacy? Yep, I’m pretty sure that would be squashed the second they dug up a decayed child-sized right leg!

Since there will be a new body in heaven waiting for me why even bother? This life is temporary and we will all move on to better things and should give no thought to the past! Yet whenever I pass that particular graveyard containing my leg I give a silent nod and salute towards my missing piece.

The truth is even if it doesn’t matter whether or not I am buried with my leg I simply feel a bit disorganized knowing that there may be parts of me scattered about. I feel a little responsible to take care of my body – all of it. Of course, this theory will be literally blown away in the event that I am killed in any sort of bombing.

So for now, until my probable cause of death is resolved in my head the issue shall remain unresolved. I still have a ways to go; after all, I’ve only one foot in the grave.

*Please understand this piece was written in humor. While yes, I really do think about this issue from time to time the reality is I believe Jesus will restore my body and it really doesn’t matter where I am buried or how I am buried!